Some people believe that professional sportsmen and women are paid too much money nowadays in relation to their usefulness to society. Do you agree or disagree?
How useful are
sports
players
to our society
? Do they earn too much money
? This
essay will discuss these questions.
If we consider the top sports
players
, it is true that they are paid huge salaries. For example
, the footballer David Beckham earns millions with his club and then
he is paid more money
to endorse the products of various sports
companies. I wish I could earn a million dollars by wearing a pair of football boots! Sportsmen tend to earn a lot more money
than their female equivalents. In tennis, Martina Navratilova has won more titles than the greatest male players
but her earnings are probably significantly less.
The most useful jobs in society
are those that help people
: doctors make people
better when they are sick and teachers prepare a new generation for entry into society
. Perhaps the most useful job of all is that of the firefighter, who saves lives and property on a regular basis. Yet firefighters are paid very little and often have to do a second job to earn enough money
to live on. Other people
in society
apart from sports
players
earn a lot of money
. Some businessmen are millionaires.
Sport is undoubtedly one of our main forms of entertainment today. Even if people
don't go to live matches, they watch sport
on television, either broadcast live or the highlights afterwards. Fix the agreement mistake
sports
Hawever
, Correct your spelling
However
this
doesn't justify such
large salaries, in my opinion.Submitted by staciia_ju on
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introduction conclusion present
The essay introduces the topic well and sets out the main issues clearly. However, it should ensure that the conclusion summarises the main points discussed and reinforces the writer's position.
supported main points
Ensure that all main points are appropriately supported with examples or logical reasoning. While some examples were provided, not all points were equally well-supported.
logical structure
Some repetition and inconsistency were noted in discussing the value of sportspeople compared to other professionals. A more structured comparison would be beneficial. More explicitly explaining how each point connects back to the core argument would improve clarity.
complete response
Make sure that while discussing diverse aspects of the issue, the focus remains on the task. Here, the essay occasionally drifts into other areas without solidly tying them back to the main question about the pay of sportspeople.
clear comprehensive ideas
To achieve higher clarity and comprehensiveness, consider slightly more structured paragraphs which explore one clear idea each. Connective phrases can help smooth transitions between paragraphs.
relevant specific examples
The essay uses relevant and specific examples, such as David Beckham and Martina Navratilova, to illustrate points, adding strength to the argument.
introduction conclusion present
There is a clear and logical introduction that sets out the topic for discussion, preparing the reader well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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