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Band 5

Nowadays, more and more people are moving to cities in order to live. What are the advantages and disadvantages of urban life?

#people #cities #life
People
 relocating to
cities
 has become increasingly common. Diverse job opportunities and better living standards can be
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reasons for that;
however
, living in urban areas
also
 brings about some issues related to high living expenses and different types of pollution. On the one hand,
city
 life can offer jobs with higher salaries and less physical
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
, which is quite appealing for
people
 seeking better work and income.
In addition
, compared to rural areas,
cities
 tend to be more convenient in many respects: public services, transportation systems, entertainment, cultural areas like museums, and countless other things.
On the other hand
, these comforts
also
 come with many problems,
such
 as noise pollution.
Cities
 are
well-known
Correct your spelling
well known
show examples
 for their relatively loud and noisy crowds and factory sounds that can sometimes drive
people
 crazy. Because of
this
,
people
 in
cities
 often find it difficult to sleep even late at night. But unpleasant noises aren't the only problems with
city
 life; high costs can be just as irritating. When
people
 decide to live in a
city
, they must
also
 be prepared to deal with high prices. Prices in
cities
 can be twice or even three times higher than those in the countryside
due to
 high demand and quality. In conclusion,
while
city
 life offers numerous opportunities, it
also
 presents challenges
such
 as high living costs and pollution.
Therefore
, the choice to live in a
city
 ultimately depends on what individuals prioritize.
Submitted by yerlepesov on

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task achievement
Although the essay addresses the prompt adequately, providing advantages and disadvantages of urban life, it could benefit from a few more specific examples or evidence. For instance, citing a particular job sector that illustrates the availability of high-paying jobs would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows well with a logical structure, but the transition between ideas can be smoother. For example, linking the paragraphs with transitional phrases or sentences would enhance coherence. Additionally, there could be separate paragraphs for each disadvantage, like noise pollution and high living costs, which would clarify these points further.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of living in cities thoroughly and clearly.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear starting and ending point to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported, making the arguments convincing and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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