IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, more and more people are moving to cities in order to live. What are the advantages and disadvantages of urban life?

#people #cities #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 relocating to
cities
Use synonyms
 has become increasingly common. Diverse job opportunities and better living standards can be
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 reasons for that;
however
Linking Words
, living in urban areas
also
Linking Words
 brings about some issues related to high living expenses and different types of pollution. On the one hand,
city
Use synonyms
 life can offer jobs with higher salaries and less physical
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
, which is quite appealing for
people
Use synonyms
 seeking better work and income.
In addition
Linking Words
, compared to rural areas,
cities
Use synonyms
 tend to be more convenient in many respects: public services, transportation systems, entertainment, cultural areas like museums, and countless other things.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, these comforts
also
Linking Words
 come with many problems,
such
Linking Words
 as noise pollution.
Cities
Use synonyms
 are
well-known
Correct your spelling
well known
show examples
 for their relatively loud and noisy crowds and factory sounds that can sometimes drive
people
Use synonyms
 crazy. Because of
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in
cities
Use synonyms
 often find it difficult to sleep even late at night. But unpleasant noises aren't the only problems with
city
Use synonyms
 life; high costs can be just as irritating. When
people
Use synonyms
 decide to live in a
city
Use synonyms
, they must
also
Linking Words
 be prepared to deal with high prices. Prices in
cities
Use synonyms
 can be twice or even three times higher than those in the countryside
due to
Linking Words
 high demand and quality. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
city
Use synonyms
 life offers numerous opportunities, it
also
Linking Words
 presents challenges
such
Linking Words
 as high living costs and pollution.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the choice to live in a
city
Use synonyms
 ultimately depends on what individuals prioritize.
Submitted by yerlepesov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Although the essay addresses the prompt adequately, providing advantages and disadvantages of urban life, it could benefit from a few more specific examples or evidence. For instance, citing a particular job sector that illustrates the availability of high-paying jobs would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows well with a logical structure, but the transition between ideas can be smoother. For example, linking the paragraphs with transitional phrases or sentences would enhance coherence. Additionally, there could be separate paragraphs for each disadvantage, like noise pollution and high living costs, which would clarify these points further.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of living in cities thoroughly and clearly.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear starting and ending point to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported, making the arguments convincing and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: