The widespread of the Internet gives people more freedom to work and study at home instead of traveling to office and school. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?
Nowadays
due to
advancements in internet
individuals can perform their office and school Correct article usage
the internet
duties
more feasibly while
being at home
rather than commuting to the workplace and educational institutions.I believe it has more benefits such
as it saves time
of
travelling Change preposition
apply
as well as
it gives more opportunity to perform duties
in a more comfortable environment
surronded
by family members, but Correct your spelling
surrounded
this
situation also
poses some issues, as it leads to lack
of professional growth and Correct article usage
a lack
also
working and studying from home
can also
distract people
from their goals.
To begin
with, remote work
or study
clearly cuts a great amount of time
that it takes workers or students to go to their specific office
and institutions. They can utilize that Fix the agreement mistake
offices
time
in more effective ways by brainstorming more ideas. Additionally
, people
tend to work
and study
more comfortably in their own personal space as they are used to of
it and it Change preposition
apply
also
gives them the opportunity to take resting
breaks in between. Change the form of the verb
rest
Finally
, as individuals are at their own home
surrounded by the Fix the agreement mistake
homes
people
they love, it also
gives them mental peace and by that
they often outperform their Add a comma
that,
duties
and it also
creates stronger bond
between family members. Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
For instance
, during covid-19
, as everyone was facing lockdown Correct your spelling
COVID-19
so
Correct word choice
apply
people
doing remote work
found it better to work
from their own home
as it led to more creative ideas Fix the agreement mistake
homes
as well as
it made them able to bond with their families in a more productive way resulting in peaceful
Add an article
a peaceful
environment
at home
.
On the other hand
, performing official and educational duties
from home
can also
have cons such
as it leads
to Wrong verb form
leading
lack
of personal and professional growth. Correct article usage
a lack
This
is because people
are doing remote work
and study
and they are not interacting with people
outside their homes,as a result
, workers and students often feel lack
of motivation and confidence in them. It Correct article usage
a lack
also
impedes the way by which people
often make new friends. Also
, working from home
can have some distractions as sometimes you might have visitors at home
or there might be some other engagements leading to loosing
interest in Replace the word
losing
studies
. Correct pronoun usage
your studies
For example
, most men prefer to work
in quiet
Add an article
a quiet
environment
as it improves their work
efficacy and that's sometimes not possible in homes having kids around.
In conclusion, it is evident that remote work
and study
has
some of Correct subject-verb agreement
have
its
demerits in the form of distractions and Correct pronoun usage
their
lack
of professional and personal growth but the potential merits such
as time saving
,Add a hyphen
time-saving
comfortability
and Replace the word
comfort
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
environment
clearly outweigh these issues.Submitted by kforkinza124 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences in body paragraphs to guide the reader better about the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
Try to reduce minor grammatical errors to make the essay more polished and easier to read.
coherence cohesion
Add more varied sentence structures and transitional phrases to improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-formulated, giving a clear understanding of your stance on the topic.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view with specific examples.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic, making your argument strong.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...