It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Discuss the benefits of this development and problems associated with it.

It is believed that taking a
year
off after graduating from high school could be a helpful step for many students.
However
, others
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
determined
that is
phenomenon holds
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
numerous drawbacks. Personally, I am convinced that the
one
Add a hyphen
one-year
show examples
year
break is beneficial for several pupils.
To begin
with, many families experience harsh circumstances,
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
leads to heavy financial burdens. Having a
year
off might help them in giving a suitable amount of time to work and be capable
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
afford
Verb problem
paying
show examples
the university fees.
For instance
, the vast majority of Indian adolescents go outside searching for careers
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
directly after graduation.
Furthermore
, research conducted by The
Minestry
Correct your spelling
Ministry
of Education in India reveals that 85% of adults work in majors different from what they studied in college.
This
resulted in encouraging more people to earn a living and secure a job rather than studying.
In addition
to that, it is thought to be a great opportunity to develop
one
's
communicating
Replace the word
communication
show examples
skills and gain experience from an alternative source. Despite all these pros, the
one
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one-year
show examples
year
rest could lead to detrimental consequences.
Firstly
, the university seat could be occupied,
therefore
, the individual would not be able to study in the preferred major.
Moreover
, if retired and still not
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
the required amount of money consequences in
unstable
Correct article usage
an unstable
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routine, which in turn impacts
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
,
such
as causing anxiety.
Additionally
,
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
standards play a vital role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
psychological health. It could erode
one
's confidence by shaming, not
acceptable
Replace the word
accepting
show examples
the marriage from, or not employing him/him. In conclusion, taking a
year
off points out negative and positive outcomes. In many cases,
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
are forced to take
this
step
due to
their circumstances. In my opinion, I would take a break from studying because of the pressure
pre graduates
Add a hyphen
pre-graduates
show examples
face in high school.
Submitted by jenakhalil07 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic and covers both the benefits and problems associated with a gap year. However, to achieve a higher score, it is advisable to provide more specific examples and develop your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on integrating your ideas more smoothly. Some transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be more logical and fluid. Additionally, make sure each paragraph is focused on a single main point with clear supporting details.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task fully, discussing both benefits and problems associated with taking a gap year.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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