IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #drawings #subjects #school #education
It is known that growing and consuming cannabis
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 become legal in Canada. There are some advantages of
such
decision
Correct article usage
a decision
show examples
as well as
 disadvantages,
such
 as an increase in the government budget income and
people
pour
Wrong verb form
pouring
show examples
 out on the streets for a riot, respectively. Regulation of marijuana by the state of Canada yields
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one’s
Change noun form
one
show examples
 revenue increase and
also
 allows the proper institutions to take control over the quality of the weed. (The?) Illegal business, which is run by an individual group of
people
, leads to all cash
to be
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being
show examples
 settled down in these
people
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people's
show examples
 pockets and
bring
Wrong verb form
bringing
show examples
 no use to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Moreover
, the flow of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
untracked
weed
Fix the agreement mistake
weeds
show examples
 usually
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 no quality control,
smoking
Correct word choice
and smoking
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may result in lethal
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Canada’s
Change noun form
Canada
show examples
 newspaper published an (
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
?) article about the recent increase in the government budget and below that was the chart of
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 rate from cannabis usage, which indicated that it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 dropped to almost zero after the law enforcement. Despite the pros of legalisation of weed consumption, it brings up many complaints that the government can’t satisfy the demand and riots may take place. Because many plantations get closed up,
thus
 shortening the production of weed, which can’t cover the previous rate of grass usage, many unsatisfied
people
 complain and even uprisings can occur.
For instance
, the local news channel took several interviews from
people
 on the street, who complained that they
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
 to smoke some pot, but
can’t
Wrong verb form
couldn’t
show examples
 find it anywhere and some of them rushed outside to proclaim their needs. In conclusion, legalisation and regulation of marijuana usage and production
puts
Change the verb form
put
show examples
 more money into the state budget and drops to minimal chances of death from smoking,
although
 the consumers might bring uprisings into the country.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and is consistently developed.
task achievement
Try to use more varied sentence structures for better clarity and engagement.
task achievement
Proofread your work to identify and correct minor grammatical and lexical errors.
task achievement
Provide more in-depth examples and explanations to substantiate your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Main points are generally supported with relevant examples.
task achievement
The topic is addressed with a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artistic expression
  • communication
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • critical thinking skills
  • cultural appreciation
  • understanding
  • therapeutic benefits
  • mental well-being
  • career opportunities
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