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Band 3.5

Many cities have installed cameras in public places in order to reduce crime. However, some people think that those cameras restrict our privacy. Do you think the advantages of this system outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #cameras #places #crime #people #privacy #system
In many towns,
cameras
 have been installed in public areas in case of safety issues. Many believe that recording is against private life.
This
 essay argues that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. Public
cameras
 should exist in cities,
however
, they should be restricted to specific areas. Even though some of the private gardens are at the angle of the camera's eyesight. When
people
 know that they are possibly being watched by someone else, they feel unsafe,
instead
 of secure.
For instance
,
people
 can swim in their pools, without the psychology of watching by someone.
Additionally
, it is against the
people
's rights. If residents do
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
acceptbeing
Correct your spelling
accept being
accepting
 watched,
caameras
Correct your spelling
cameras
 should not be allowed.
On the other hand
, if it is used for
people
's benefit it can help decreasing in crime rates. It can be a deterrent for potential criminals. Because they tend to commit a crime when they are sure they can not be found.
Nevertheless
, residents should decide whether they need
cameras
 on their streets. In conclusion, even though there are advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 public
cameras
, the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
Submitted by xxxx17 on

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task achievement
The essay provides a clear position on the topic and attempts to address both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task response criteria.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance
  • deterrence
  • apprehension
  • infringement
  • omnipresence
  • law enforcement
  • evidence gathering
  • privacy concerns
  • surveillance state
  • unwarranted surveillance
  • psychological impact
  • paranoia
  • crime investigation
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