IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990.

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990.
#show #levels #participation #education #science #countries
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A glance at the given bar charts depicts the rate of individuals who participated in
a
Change the article
an
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 educational system in developed and developing
countries
Use synonyms
 in two different
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that industrialised
countries
Use synonyms
 have
higher
Add an article
a higher
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 level of expenditure on Research and progress.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of scientists in developed
countries
Use synonyms
are
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is
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 significantly more than the
Use synonyms
people
Correct quantifier usage
number of people
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lived
Change the form of the verb
living
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 in
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
counties
 where were developing in 1980 and 1990. Actually,
people
Use synonyms
 spent more
years
Use synonyms
 in education in comparison with the other types of
countries
Use synonyms
.
People
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 in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 spent
staggering
Correct article usage
a staggering
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 10
years
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on
Change preposition
apply
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studying in 1990.
Although
Linking Words
 the developed
countries
Use synonyms
 have over 60 scientists from 1000
people
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 rate was merely under 20
researcher
Fix the agreement mistake
researchers
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 in both 1980 and 1990
years
Use synonyms
. The money
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 educational goals witnessed
sharply
Correct article usage
a sharply
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 increased from 150
billions
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billion
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dollors
Correct your spelling
dollars
 to 320
billions
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billion
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dollors
Correct your spelling
dollars
.
However
Linking Words
, it can be seen dramatically decrease in the mentioned
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
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 in developing
countrie
Correct your spelling
countries
and
Correct word choice
apply
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reached
negligible
Correct article usage
a negligible
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 120
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
dollors
Correct your spelling
dollars
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year.
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, years, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrollment rates
  • primary education
  • secondary education
  • tertiary education
  • literacy rates
  • scientific research
  • research and development (R&D)
  • correlation
  • gender disparities
  • participation
  • developing countries
  • industrialized countries
  • investment
  • comparison
  • impact
  • specified years
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