Some people think we need to give aid to all poor countries. Others, however, argue that we should not give international aid to countries with corruption in their system. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion.
It has been argued by some, that developed
countries
should give a hand to all developing Use synonyms
countries
, who need help and financial Use synonyms
supprt
. Correct your spelling
support
In
the contrary, others reject the concept of helping Change the preposition
On
countries
which Use synonyms
are suffer
Change the verb form
are suffering
of
Change preposition
from
corrupted
Add an article
a corrupted
system
. Fix the agreement mistake
systems
This
essay will present my personal opinion regarding both points of view.
Linking Words
To commence
with the first opinion Fix the infinitive
Commence
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
opine
that developed nations should give a hand to Correct subject-verb agreement
opines
whomever
Change the pronoun
whoever
need
it, regardless of any internal Change the verb form
needs
corruptions
. Fix the agreement mistake
corruption
In other words
, they indicate that it is a must because it reflects the values and the culture of their people and Linking Words
show
the Change the verb form
shows
humanity
side in every single individual towards Replace the word
human
the
poor Correct article usage
apply
countries
. Use synonyms
For example
, Africa is well known that it suffers Linking Words
lack
of resources which Correct article usage
a lack
had
led to a deteriorating situation and poverty. Wrong verb form
has
Therefore
, nations and rich celebrities are keen to build shelters, Linking Words
establish
schools and hospitals to tackle the detrimental effects on people.
On the other side, others argue that international support could be stolen rather than given to those who are in need Correct word choice
and establish
for
Change preposition
of
these money
or the offered aid. Change the determiner
this money
Although
, I partially agree with Linking Words
such
Linking Words
opinion
, Correct article usage
an opinion
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
this
prevention could make the situation Linking Words
worser
. In the sense that, Correct your spelling
worse
this
action of preventing political system involved corruption works would not lead to an effective solution, Linking Words
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
this
would Linking Words
diffenetly
increase the Correct your spelling
differently
suffer
of Change the form of the verb
suffering
poor
Add an article
the poor
a poor
individual
.
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
To sum up
, the aforementioned paragraphs have clearly shown Linking Words
the
both Correct article usage
apply
prespective
. Anyway, I consider Correct your spelling
perspectives
the
conditional aid could be the optimal solution.Correct article usage
apply
in other words
, Any country Linking Words
who
offers Correct pronoun usage
that
aids
should send its own experts to control the Fix the agreement mistake
aid
humanity
works it gives.Replace the word
humanitarian
Submitted by nawartomry on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. The main points should be clearly outlined and expanded upon in individual paragraphs. This will enhance the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by reiterating your main points more clearly and strongly. It should give a sense of closure and summarize your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by refining your sentence structures. Avoid overly complex or convoluted sentences that may confuse the reader.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both viewpoints and provides your own opinion, which is a strong point in achieving the task response.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples to support your arguments, making your points more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.