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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaivour to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #option #sort #parents #teachers #behaivour
It is crucial to teach
children
 in the right direction at an early age, some individuals suggest punishment is a potential tool for helping them learn effectively,
I
Correct word choice
and I
show examples
strongly agree with
this
 notion. In the following paragraphs, the advantages and possible types of
punishments
 will be discussed in detail before the conclusion is reached.
To begin
 with, adequate
punishments
 provide significant advantages for
children
. One of the key benefits is to be a powerful tool for parenting their offspring by reducing and eliminating undesirable behaviour
such
 as lying, using rude or inappropriate language, talking back, ignoring and disregarding rules,
besides
 it promotes the learning process in young people. With its effectiveness and understanding at any age, it become the fastest way to
leading
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 the right pathway for
children
 in many households, leading
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
afraid
Add a missing verb
be afraid
show examples
 of behaving bad things and ensuring to
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 a good citizen.
However
,
while
 inappropriate physical
punishments
 including beating with a rod or stick, pulling the child's ears, or rapping a child's head or emotional
punishments
such
 as humiliating, ignoring and threatening can affect negatively
children
's development, decreasing self-esteem and inducing rude behaviour, appropriated
punishments
 that could be helpful for young people and students are grounding, which allow them to self-thinking and accept a mistake. Another good discipline is an increase in chores, promoting housework skills and
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 time
together with
 parents. In conclusion,
punishments
 offer many advantages for
children
 and parents
such
 as
a potential tools
Correct the article-noun agreement
a potential tool
potential tools
show examples
 for parenting, promoting the learning process and minimising undesirable actions.
However
,
this
 could bring a negative consequence for their offspring by using inappropriate punishment.
Therefore
, choosing the right method for teaching by a teacher or parent could create a good model citizen for society in the future.
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on

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task achievement
Your main ideas should be developed more thoroughly with additional examples or evidence to back up your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are a bit convoluted and could be simplified for better understanding.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly and ensure a seamless flow from one paragraph to the next.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and typos to improve the overall quality of your essay. Proofreading can help with this.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.
logical structure
You have made a good attempt to separate your ideas into paragraphs, which aids in the overall structure of the essay.
complete response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a balanced view by acknowledging both appropriate and inappropriate punishments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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