Some people say that the governments should pay for health care and education but others think that this is not the govrnment's reseponsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
There are some
people
who believe that health and education
expenses should be covered by the government
, while
others think that nations has
other priorities. Change the verb form
have
This
essay will explain that there is a heavier responsibility on government`s
shoulders which is a healthy Correct article usage
the government`s
industry
.
On the one hand, some individuals think that people
`s health and education
can help the government
itself in turn. If the population of a nation is healthier, they can work better which leads to a better society. Also
, if the number of educated people
is higher than standards
, they can solve more complex problems which a country Correct article usage
the standards
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
with
. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, this
can lead to a successful nation. However
, I believe that people
can prevent expensive expenses with healthy
lifestyle and the number of individuals who can solve nation-level problems is small.
Add an article
a healthy
On the other hand
, authorities has
to pay Change the verb form
have
massive
budget and considerable attention to Correct article usage
a massive
industry
. People
can cover their expenditures if they have adequete
income. A Correct your spelling
adequate
government
should improve its industry
to a level where people
can have satisfactory jobs to earn enough money to cover their medicine and education
. Therefore
, the country who
has Correct pronoun usage
that
his
full attention on employment can make its Correct pronoun usage
its
people
independent of financial aids
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
aid
although
some people
say that the government
should help the
society Correct article usage
apply
in
its health and Change preposition
with
education
expenditures, eating healthy food will make people
healthier and covering the education
fees of a small number of geniuses can have little effect on the prosperity of a country, and it is far better for a nation to look at other priority which is a thiriving
Correct your spelling
thriving
industry
.Submitted by mohamad.m.sharifi74 on
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This can make your arguments more convincing and tangible.
task achievement
Work on refining your arguments and ensuring a clear separation between points when discussing different views.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a more logical progression of ideas by linking paragraphs more clearly. Use transitional phrases effectively.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph fully supports the main topic sentences and that the examples are closely related to your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and a conclusion summarizing the main points.
task achievement
The main arguments for both views are addressed, providing a balanced perspective.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.