IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the divorce rates in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #divorce #rates #two #european #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The chart gives data on
divorce
Use synonyms
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and
Finland
Use synonyms
 in the period of time between 2011 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 in the
beginning
Add a comma
beginning,
show examples
Finland
Use synonyms
's split
rate
Use synonyms
 was lower than in
Sweden
Use synonyms
, in the
end
Add the comma(s)
end,
show examples
divorce
Use synonyms
 percentage in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Finland
Use synonyms
 surpassed
Use synonyms
Sweden
Change noun form
Sweden's
show examples
. It is
also
Linking Words
 noticeable that
Finland
Use synonyms
 observed an upward trend despite
flactuation
Correct your spelling
fluctuation
fluctuations
,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Sweden
Change noun form
Sweden's
show examples
 performance increased during 5
years
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
divorce
Add an article
the divorce
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 in
Finland
Use synonyms
 constituted just below 40% in 2011 and after
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 decrease and
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 boom, it made up nearly
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same position of 40% in 2012. It is obvious that the minimum in
this
Linking Words
 chart was seen in 2012 in
Finland
Use synonyms
 being nearly 33%. During
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 3
years
Use synonyms
indicator
Fix the agreement mistake
indicators
show examples
 for
Finland
Use synonyms
 went up and outperformed
Sweden
Use synonyms
 in 2015 with their rates being approximately 41% and 37% respectively.
Use synonyms
Divorce
Add an article
The divorce
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 boomed in 2012 being 49% which was the maximum
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all
years
Use synonyms
 for both countries.
In addition
Linking Words
 after 3
years
Use synonyms
' decline
divorce
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 for
Sweden
Use synonyms
 made up about 36% which was its minimum.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words divorce, sweden, finland, rate, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • divorce rates
  • fluctuate
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • trough
  • trend
  • notable
  • significant
  • substantial
  • higher
  • lower
  • comparison
  • consistent
  • vary
  • percent
  • overall
What to do next:
Look at other essays: