IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that instead of seeing the Internet as a way of opening up new communication possibilities world-wide, we should be concerned about the effect this is having on social interaction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#people #internet #communication #possibilities #effect #interaction
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With the rise in the number of
people
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 who have access to the
internet
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,
people
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 have started to argue that we should be concerned about the effect the
internet
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 has on social interaction.
This
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 essay will look into why I think that the
internet
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 is more of a boon than a bane.
Firstly
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,
people
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 can find other
people
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 on the
internet
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 who have the same
interests
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 as them,
this
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 can help with social anxiety as
people
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 find it easier to open up to someone who has the same
interests
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 as them.
People
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 who are insecure about themselves find it easier to talk to
people
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 over text, making it more easy for them to interact with
people
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 around them.
For example
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, I have seen
people
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 from different states in my country because they all had the same
interests
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whereas
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, I too, have met
people
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 who had the same
interests
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 as me.
Lastly
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, the
internet
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 has provided us
different
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with different
show examples
 platforms for communicating with other
people
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,
this
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 form of communication has proven to be effective in spreading awareness and campaigning for peoples' rights.
Moreover
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,
People
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 from different parts of the world can share their culture shorten the cultural disparity and remove any negative cultural impressions that may be there.
For instance
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, the recent news of the rape of a doctor in India has caused massive outrage on the
internet
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, which has raised the issue to reach the largest judicial power of India,
that is
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, the supreme court.
To conclude
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,
people
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 should not be worried about the effect of the
internet
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 on social interactions and should be encouraged to interact on social media and share their opinions, views and creativity.
Submitted by satyarthverma88 on

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relevant specific examples
Provide more specific and diverse examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Include more transitional phrases and linking words to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Presence of both an introduction and conclusion that align well with the main content.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure with main points supported by relevant examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global communication
  • digital platforms
  • face-to-face interactions
  • superficial relationships
  • cultural exchange
  • international relations
  • cyberbullying
  • misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • emotional connections
  • social stability
  • mental health
  • world-wide communication
  • social interaction
  • online interactions
  • instant messaging
  • social media
  • emails
  • virtual relationships
  • cross-cultural understanding
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