IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have seen advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. write a letter to the parents. In your letter explain why you would like the job give details of why would be a suitable person to employ say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #job #person #time #australia
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Dear Sr/Madam, I am writing
you
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to you
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 in
regards
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regard
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 to the advertising in the Australian magazine. I have read that you are looking for a babysitter for your
six year-old
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six-year-old
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 kid. I am very interested in that position, and I would be more than happy to pass by next week at your place to meet you and your family and have a chat. I am arriving
to
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in
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 Australia tomorrow and
i
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I
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 was looking for an au pair job. I love kids,
i
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I
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 grew up helping and kind of raising my two little brothers.
Due to
 my
parents
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parent's
parents'
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 hectic job life, they were barely
never
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ever
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 at home.
That is
 why
i
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I
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 believe
i
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I
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 am a suitable person for the position as
i
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I
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 know how to interact and play with kids. I would be able to help
yor
Correct your spelling
your
 child with homework and to pick him/her up from school . One of the reasons why I am travelling to Australia is to enjoy the stunning beaches
,
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apply
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 and
also
 to do a marketing course that looks very interesting. I will have to attend classes every
Wednesday's
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Wednesday
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 night, that would be the only day that
i
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I
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 won't be available to look after your child. Let me know what
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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you think about having a meeting next week. I look forward to
hear
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hearing
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 from you. Yours faithfully, Maria
Submitted by jimeilaria on

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grammar
Be sure to proofread your letter for small grammatical errors, such as capitalization and minor typos (e.g., "Sr/Madam" should be "Sir/Madam", "i" should be "I", "yor" should be "your").
structure
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a single main idea for clearer coherence. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into shorter ones to improve readability.
structure
You provided a clear and polite introduction and conclusion, which contributes positively to the tone and structure of your letter.
response
You effectively explained your interest in the job and provided relevant personal experiences to support your application, fulfilling the task requirements well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
  • Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
  • Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
  • Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
  • Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
  • Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment
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