Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt, that higher education is crucial,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
people argue
rarher
Correct your spelling
that
it
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
the way to
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
a perfect
gob
Correct your spelling
job
show examples
or
it
Correct word choice
that it
show examples
is more effective to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
work after school. I believe in
Correct article usage
the meaningfull
show examples
meaningfull
Correct your spelling
meaningfulness
of a degree and in
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will explain
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
for that.
To begin
with, many people suggest, that a diploma
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
Correct article usage
a respectfull
show examples
respectfull
Correct your spelling
respectful
university opens many doors.
This
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
recruters
Correct your spelling
recruiters
search for
idicators
Correct your spelling
indicators
of success and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
graduation
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
a prestigious educational institution
such
as Standford or Harvard could be considered as
this
indicator.
For instance
, it is not a secret, that McKinsey company looks for employees who studied in
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
10 American Universities and
that is
why I plan to
sudy
Correct your spelling
study
in Standford. Alternatively, if individuals do not get a graduation, they could find only hardworking unpopular gob for employees with low
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
.
In addition
, higher education
preperes
Correct your spelling
prepares
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
future life, giving life experience, knowledge and developing problem-solving skills.
In other words
, studying in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
university could be considered as the transition between school and work, which helps to be ready for the latest one. To illustrate
this
,
an
Change the article
a
show examples
graduate of Harvard may have
flexible
Add an article
a flexible
show examples
mind with abilities to tackle many issues, which makes him
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
appropriate to
big
Correct article usage
the big
show examples
four companies.
In contrast
, an
18 year old
Add a hyphen
18-year-old
show examples
teenager is ready only for simple work
sach
Correct your spelling
such
as a server in a
restorant
Correct your spelling
restaurant
or a road maintainer. In conclusion, I would stick
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
my opinion, that a riveting,
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid
show examples
gob
Correct your spelling
job
show examples
could be found only after graduation
one
Change preposition
from one
show examples
of
advanced
Add an article
the advanced
show examples
Universities
Fix the agreement mistake
University
show examples
. It happens in light of
demands
Correct article usage
the demands
show examples
of many human
resourse
Correct your spelling
resource
resources
specialists, who
asess
Correct your spelling
assess
a diploma as a key to the job interview.
Furthermore
, it is hard to deny, that spending
near to
Correct your spelling
nearly
show examples
five years in an educational institution increases
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
of skills and volume of professional
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure clearer and broader range of vocabulary is used to express ideas. This will enhance the overall clarity and richness of your essay.
task achievement
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors as they can distract the reader and detract from the overall quality of your essay.
task achievement
Aim to provide more varied and specific examples to support your points. This will help make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop paragraphs more fully to provide deeper insights and clearer connections between your main points.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and give a clear view of your opinion and the direction of the essay.
logical structure
Your essay follows a logical structure, with clear main points and supporting details in each paragraph.
supported main points
The main points are generally well-supported, although more specific examples could enhance the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialized knowledge
  • skills
  • high-paying jobs
  • practical experience
  • employers
  • intellectual capability
  • perseverance
  • barrier
  • hands-on experience
  • entrepreneurial opportunities
  • networking opportunities
  • career prospects
What to do next:
Look at other essays: