Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

It's hard to deny that remote learning is becoming more popular but
also
can cause the problem of
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
learning effect, which leads some people to generate their idea that kids should be educated in the classrooms
instead
of learning online.
However
,
such
kind of statement lacks both factual and logical fallacies and should be examined more meticulously. In my opinion, as far as convenience, safety and learning quality are concerned, the advantages of learning from the
Internet
obviously outweigh the disadvantages. First and foremost, cultivating
students
on the
Internet
makes their studying progress significantly more convenient. To be more specific, learners and teachers can enter the online classrooms at any time and location they want, as long as the network is working,
thus
both of these two relevant groups of people won't be limited by lots of negative factors
such
as transportation block and their learning and teaching process could be more easy and convenient.
Furthermore
,
students
' health would be greatly protected if they choose remote learning. Take the case of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
COVID-19: COVID-19 is a kind of dangerous virus which can spread between persons very quickly, when
such
an illness broke out in 2020, many governments forced
students
to study online to alleviate the serious situation, and
as a result
, spreading speed of the virus slowed down evidently, for longer distances between ones lower the ratio of infection. Had it not
for
Add a missing verb
been for
show examples
the learners to learn online, their health would
be
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
severely harmed.
However
, despite the advantages, some people hold the opposite viewpoint that receiving knowledge on the
Internet
is able to lead to bad qualities on studying results as
students
are no longer observed by teachers. Ironically,
such
kind of opinion is too subjective, because on the
Internet
, kids will have more opportunities to get in touch with good teachers, who might have more effective methods to motivate children to study to achieve higher learning qualities. Based on the statement and analysis above, despite the drawbacks of remote teaching, the advantages have already outweighed the former when taking convenience, safety and learning quality into consideration.
In addition
, it can be predicted that there will be more measures about learning online taken by the governments.
Submitted by Phigros666 on

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task achievement
While the essay generally presents a clear stance and maintains its position throughout, it would benefit from addressing counterarguments more thoroughly. Acknowledge opposing views in a way that strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are equally well-supported. While the convenience and safety points are well-explained, the point about learning quality could use more evidence or examples to be convincingly persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are complex and can be made clearer by breaking them into simpler structures. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve overall coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Improve the flow between paragraphs by using transition words and phrases more effectively. For instance, use phrases like 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' or 'On the other hand,' to make the connection between ideas more explicit.
task achievement
The essay has a clear and well-articulated thesis statement, which is supported consistently throughout the text.
coherence cohesion
Strong examples, such as the COVID-19 scenario, effectively illustrate key points, adding credibility to the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unparalleled flexibility
  • democratizes education
  • geographically isolated
  • personal circumstances
  • cost-effectiveness
  • accommodation
  • commuting
  • self-motivated learning
  • self-discipline
  • time management
  • direct interaction
  • feelings of isolation
  • quality and recognition
  • inferior
  • technical issues
  • digital divide
  • reliable technology
  • underprivileged
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