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Band 4

Write about the following topic. More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

#topic #people #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars
Public transportation is one of the major conversational
topic
Change to a plural noun
topics
show examples
 of
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 society. More and more people are relying on their own
cars
, but private motoring
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
issues and
im
Correct your spelling
I'm
 going to give my perspective
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
 subject
moreover
. Private motorin is bad for
Correct article usage
the enviroment
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 because many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people are driving by
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 and
cars
 use up lots of gasoline
witch
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 made
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 oil.
Cars
also
 pollute
a
Correct article usage
the
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 climate, except
eletric
Correct your spelling
electric
cars
. If all citizens would
drivo
Correct your spelling
drive
 private
cars
, there would be lots of traffic jams. Workers could be late
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 from their jobs.
Submitted by paronen91 on

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coherence cohesion
Clearly state your main points in the introduction and summarize them in the conclusion. This will help in achieving a logical structure and coherence.
task achievement
Include specific examples and data where possible to support your points. For example, you could mention statistics about pollution or traffic congestion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Use varied sentence structures and avoid simple errors like spelling and grammar mistakes. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The topic is introduced clearly, and the main points are identifiable, which lays a good foundation for more detailed discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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