In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?
Nowadays, many parents raise their
children
telling them that they could archieve
anything Correct your spelling
achieve
their
life if they try hard enough. I personally don´t like Change preposition
in their
this
assumption because it will make
unrealistic expectations Verb problem
create
to
the Change preposition
for
children
.
To start with, it is highly understandable why some parents wants
to raise their Change the verb form
want
children
way that they could archive
anything if they try Verb problem
achieve
hand
enough. Advantages could be Correct your spelling
hard
for
example, motivating Add the comma(s)
, for
children
to harder at school. For instance
, hard test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
is
coming and Correct subject-verb agreement
are
its
tough to gain motivation for studying.
Replace the word
it's
it is
On the other hand
, telling children
they can archieve
anything if they try hard enough Correct your spelling
achieve
have
some disadvantages. Wrong verb form
has
For example
, it can give childrens
much unneeded pressure for school. Correct your spelling
children
For instance
, childrens
could become obsessed Correct your spelling
children
about
school success and any little bit of Change preposition
with
disappoitment
can fall them Correct your spelling
disappointment
of
the Change preposition
off
rail
. That can lead to a massive Fix the agreement mistake
rails
down fall
Correct your spelling
downfall
overall
.
To summarise, both parenting methods have their own strengthness
and Correct your spelling
strengths
weakness
. Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
It´s
all came down to a person.Unnecessary verb
It
Submitted by paronen91 on
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task achievement
Ensure to provide specific, relevant examples to better support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clear, logical structure by elaborating on each point comprehensively.
language
Check for grammatical errors and improve vocabulary for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Conclude effectively by summarising the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced approach.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite