In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?

Nowadays, many parents raise their
children
telling them that they could
archieve
Correct your spelling
achieve
anything
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life if they try hard enough. I personally don´t like
this
assumption because it will
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
unrealistic expectations
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
children
. To start with, it is highly understandable why some parents
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
to raise their
children
way that they could
archive
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
anything if they try
hand
Correct your spelling
hard
show examples
enough. Advantages could be
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
example, motivating
children
to harder at school.
For instance
, hard
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
coming and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
tough to gain motivation for studying.
On the other hand
, telling
children
they can
archieve
Correct your spelling
achieve
anything if they try hard enough
have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
some disadvantages.
For example
, it can give
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
much unneeded pressure for school.
For instance
,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
could become obsessed
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
school success and any little bit of
disappoitment
Correct your spelling
disappointment
can fall them
of
Change preposition
off
show examples
the
rail
Fix the agreement mistake
rails
show examples
. That can lead to a massive
down fall
Correct your spelling
downfall
show examples
overall
. To summarise, both parenting methods have their own
strengthness
Correct your spelling
strengths
and
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
.
It´s
Unnecessary verb
It
show examples
all came down to a person.
Submitted by paronen91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to provide specific, relevant examples to better support your main points.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clear, logical structure by elaborating on each point comprehensively.
language
Check for grammatical errors and improve vocabulary for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Conclude effectively by summarising the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced approach.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: