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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities

The graph and chart below give information on the average daily maximum and minimum temperatures in degrees Celsius and the average number of days with rainfall each month for two Australian cities
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The given chart and the graph show details on medium usual uppermost and undermost Celsius
degrees
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 and the average amount of rainy
days
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. It can be seen that
,
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apply
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 the maximum temperatures in
Brisbane
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 in February are the highest.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Brisbane
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 has experienced more wet
days
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 than
Canberra
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. The maximum degree in
Brisbane
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 starts at 27 centigrade in January before growing to 30
degrees
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 in the next month.
Then
Linking Words
 it falls down by 10 units in April. In the next 8 months,the maximum temperature in
Brisbane
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 grow gradually to nearly 30 Celsius
degrees
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. Meanwhile, from January to July, the uppermost
degrees
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 in
Canberra
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 decrease sharply from 26 to 12 before rising significantly back to 26
at the end
Linking Words
 of the year. In terms of
Brisband
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's minimum temperatures starts at 20 in the beginning. After a small decrease in the middle of the year, it increases to 20
degrees
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 in December.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Carrbera's undermost Celsius declined from around 12 to 0 in the first part of the year and grew to 12 in the remained part.
Regarding the
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The
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Brisband
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's average amount of rainy
days
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 in January is roughly 13 which is 6
days
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 higher than in
Canbera
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Canberra
.
Next,
Linking Words
the medium wet
days
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 in
Brisbane
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 in February, March, and April are 14
days
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while
Linking Words
 in
Canberra
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 are around 7
days
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, the average amount of pouring
days
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 in
Canbera
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Canberra
 in June, July, August, and September are equal to
Brisbane
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 in May and November which all are 7
days
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. Plus, the average wet
days
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 in June, July, August and September in
Brisband
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 are 10
days
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 which is exactly
equelant
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equal
 to the average
days
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 with rainfall in
Canberra
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 in May, November,
December
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and December
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the medium wet
days
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 in September of
Canberra
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 is around 8
day
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days
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while
Linking Words
 the same figure in the
last
Linking Words
 3 months in
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Brisband
Correct your spelling
Brisbane
 are 8,10, and 12
days
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 respectively

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words degrees, days, brisbane, canberra, brisband with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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