Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
this
contemporary era,pollution is one of the most difficulties in the world. Some believe that if governments invest more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
public transportation systems
as well as
lossess
Correct your spelling
decrease
the amount of tickets, they will be able to control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution. I strongly agree with
this
statement
because of
Change preposition
for
show examples
some reasons.
This
essay will explain some of those reasons before a logical conclusion.
To begin
with, the more buses and
taxies
Correct your spelling
taxis
show examples
are there in a city, the more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
people
can utilize them. To illustrate more,
people
can use public transport systems in order to commute to their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
and homes.
For example
, Tokyo is the best instant as
people
can see lots of stations in their cities. So, when they could reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bus and taxi stations easily, they would use them more and more.
Hence
, one of the major
factor
Change to a plural noun
factors
show examples
is easy-reaching to the public transportation systems.
Moreover
, in
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
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of countries
show examples
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
most
indivitauls
Correct your spelling
individuals
are encountered
Wrong verb form
encounter
show examples
with
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apply
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financial hardships. It means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the prices of
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
are so high
as
Correct word choice
that
show examples
can not purchased by
people
.
As a result
, they do not have
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
show examples
to get the bus. Pakistan is a great instant of
this
problem. After
decreasing
Replace the word
a decrease
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ticket prices , it has been shown that
people
became more willing to use buses.
Then
, one mitigating factor to diminish the emission is the high price of tickets which can be managed by governments.
To sum up
, it is apparent that low-makers can control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution
via
Change preposition
by
show examples
investing
on
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in
show examples
the volume number of public transportation and
also
decreasing the prices of tickets.
Form
Correct your spelling
From
show examples
my perspective, it is
undobtedly
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
that by doing those
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
in a mass volume,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great results have been seen.
Submitted by rezvanmansoori388 on

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task response
Try to further elaborate on your ideas and deal with the topic in greater depth. This will make your response more comprehensive. For instance, you could explore how public transportation investments might benefit different demographic groups or look at case studies of cities that have successfully managed pollution this way.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay maintains a consistent logical flow. Improving your transitions between sentences and paragraphs will help readers follow your argument more easily. Using linking words and phrases more effectively can enhance coherence.
overall
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Small errors such as 'indivitauls' instead of 'individuals' or 'instant' instead of 'instance' can be distracting. Practicing these will improve the clarity of your writing.
task response
Your viewpoint is clear and well-positioned throughout the essay, which is crucial for a task response.
task response
The examples provided, such as those from Tokyo and Pakistan, help illustrate your points and make your arguments more relatable.
coherence and cohesion
You have maintained a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes the essay easy to navigate.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • mass transit
  • subsidization
  • fare reduction
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • public policy
  • commuter behavior
  • infrastructural development
  • economic efficiency
  • equitable access
  • lifestyle shift
  • congestion
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