Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is a huge dichotomy between
thoughts
Correct article usage
the thoughts
show examples
and
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
of a multitude
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
in the 21st century when it comes to
expenditure
Add an article
the expenditure
show examples
of currency for saving endangered
species
like
tiger
Fix the agreement mistake
tigers
show examples
or blue
whale
Fix the agreement mistake
whales
show examples
. Many citizens think that it is not appropriate spending and should not
be existed
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
. Personally, I oppose
this
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, with major developments
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the interest of society in
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
endironment
Correct your spelling
environment
environments
, enhancements in consciousness and being aware
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the history and
animals
, there have been done actions in order to save the population of
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
species
. It goes without saying that governments and non-governmental organisations spend huge sums of
money
and power
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
issue. In order to gain appropriate
relusts
Correct your spelling
resources
like saving rare and endangered
species
, there are versatile and multifaceted actions, which
done
Add a missing verb
are done
show examples
by numerous
individuals
, like
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
show examples
of
animals
from threat and violence.
Moreover
, self-conscious
individuals
protect
animals
and reduce
carbon
Correct pronoun usage
their carbon
show examples
footprint,
dectine
Correct your spelling
decline
detecting
toxic chemicals, pesticides and herbicides as well. To cite an example,
allocation
Correct article usage
the allocation
show examples
of funds
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
tigers and blue whales
maintain
Correct subject-verb agreement
maintains
show examples
biodiversity and
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ecosystem stability.
Moreover
,
allocation
Correct article usage
the allocation
show examples
of
money
might reinforce scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
and increase our knowledge.
Furthermore
,
presence
Correct article usage
the presence
show examples
of wild tigers regulates prey populations, which has a cascading effect on the entire ecosystem's health.
On the other hand
, some
individuals
think that it is not
necessarily
Change the word
necessary
show examples
to spend
such
enormous rates of
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
animals
,
while
human populations face life-threatening issues day by day without any stops. Critics
convinced
Add a missing verb
are convinced
show examples
that
this
money
, allocated
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
endangered
species
should be used for health care of people, education and declining rates of poverty of
individuals
.
To sum up
, wasting currency on endangered
species
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
us and our Earth with a vast majority of benefits in comparison with drawbacks,
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
why despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
fact that
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
double-edged
Correct article usage
a double-edged
show examples
sword I think that all government heads should allocate
money
for preserving our mother nature.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar and Syntax
There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings in your essay. Focus on improving sentence construction, verb agreement, and preposition usage to ensure clearer communication.
Evidence and Support
While your main points are often supported, the explanations can occasionally be vague and need more precise evidence or examples. Aim to provide concrete statistics or studies to strengthen your arguments.
Tone and Formality
Maintain a neutral and academic tone throughout the essay. Some sentences have an informal tone; ensure that the language stays formal and objective.
Structure and Format
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. This structure helps the reader to follow your arguments and understand your perspective.
Critical Engagement
You address counter-arguments effectively by acknowledging the opposing viewpoint and addressing it in the following paragraph. This demonstrates critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • intrinsic value
  • existential threat
  • ecosystem
  • conservation
  • economic benefits
  • funding allocation
  • competing needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: