IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that scientific research should be carried out and controlled by governments rather than private companies. Others argue that private companies are better suited for conducting research because they have more resources and can innovate faster. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Scientific research is essential for technological advancement and improving
quality
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the quality
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 of life, yet opinions differ regarding who should be responsible for conducting and controlling it.
While
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 some argue that governments are better suited for
this
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 task, others believe that private companies have the resources and flexibility to achieve better results.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives. On the one hand, government involvement in scientific research is essential to ensure that it serves the public interest. Governments are more likely to invest in areas that may not be immediately profitable but are very important for social interest
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such
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, such
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 as public health and environmental issues. Infact many lifesaving drugs and treatments have been developed by public funds.
In addition
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 to that, state control can impose strict ethical standards and prevent misuse of scientific advancements.
On the other hand
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, the participation of the private sector in scientific research can bring innovation and efficiency.
Due to
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 the high competition in the private
market
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market,
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 the results can be obtained faster and be more financially rewarding.
Pharmaceutical
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The pharmaceutical
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 and IT industries are
a
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apply
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good
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
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 of
this
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fast evolving
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fast-evolving
 reality
mainly
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, mainly
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 backed by private enterprises. In my opinion, private companies can play a crucial role in stimulating a certain speed and innovation. The government can contribute by ensuring stable and secure progress,
for
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example
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example,
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 by providing equal access to resources and establishing long-term strategies in pubblic interest. A balanced collaboration between the two sectors can be ideal for public benefit.

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task response
Give your own view more clearly. Say in one clear line who should lead research and why.
task response
Develop each main idea a bit more. Add one short reason or one real example in each body part.
task response
Your examples are relevant, but they are general. Use one more specific case if you can.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end. Keep this simple 4-part plan.
coherence and cohesion
Linking is good, but some parts are too short. Extend the last paragraph so your opinion is stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and enough support before you move on.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic.
task response
Your position is balanced and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well organized with clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words well, like On the one hand and On the other hand.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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