Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is increasingly observed that
students
in Use synonyms
this
modern age have opportunities to engage in international exchange Linking Words
Use synonyms
students
Change the noun form
student
programs
. Use synonyms
While
some might argue that Linking Words
this
phenomenon can bring detrimental impacts, I believe that these drawbacks are outweighed by the merits.
Granted, there are some justifiable reasons to say that it is disadvantageous to take part in global exchanging peers Linking Words
programs
. Chief of these is that culture shock could occur as an impedance to actively engaging Use synonyms
to
activities. Since each nation has its own specific cultural identity, being exposed to a new one could create Change preposition
in
a
confusion among Remove the article
apply
students
, leading to depression and other mental Use synonyms
problems
if not Use synonyms
be
prepared carefully before Unnecessary verb
apply
trip
. Add an article
the trip
Additionally
, health Linking Words
problems
could arise when moving to Use synonyms
another countries
. Take, Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
for example
, a student in Linking Words
hot
climate Add an article
a hot
such
as Vietnam who moves to cold temperatures Linking Words
countries
Change preposition
in countries
such
as Canada may come down with flu, incessant headache Linking Words
as well as
digestive Linking Words
problems
for distinctive cuisine. Use synonyms
However
, these Linking Words
problems
will be likely to Use synonyms
overcome
if the Add a missing verb
be overcome
students
spend time exploring Use synonyms
a
general information Remove the article
apply
of
the destination and take along extra painkillers, food and necessities.
Change preposition
about
Therefore
, there are more compelling reasons to say that Linking Words
students
could get the fruits from Use synonyms
such
trips. One key Linking Words
reasons
is that Change to a singular noun
reason
leaners
Correct your spelling
learners
are having
the Wrong verb form
have
chances
to broaden their horizons. A new destination with a different culture and traditions allows Fix the agreement mistake
chance
students
to experience global interaction, making their knowledge diverse and gaining new perspectives. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
students
could develop valuable soft Use synonyms
skills
. That Use synonyms
students
have to be active in their daily tasks and do not depend on others when joining Use synonyms
exchanging
Wrong verb form
exchange
programs
gives them a sense of independence. Use synonyms
Similarly
, working with other peers fosters communication and cooperation Linking Words
skills
, acting as precious Use synonyms
skills
needed for later careers.
In conclusion, whilst taking part in worldwide Use synonyms
exchanging
student Wrong verb form
exchange
programs
may bring some negatives Use synonyms
such
as culture shock and health Linking Words
problems
, they pale in comparison to the positives which are the new perspectives and Use synonyms
skills
featured in comprising citizens.Use synonyms
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task achievement
To improve the essay, ensure a more thorough and clear explanation of the ideas presented. For example, explicitly connecting how international exchange visits can lead to skill development and providing more detailed examples can enhance clarity and relevance.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, work on smoothing out transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using transitional phrases and making the logical connections between points more explicit can aid in better flow and understanding for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Main points are supported with examples, which adds depth to the argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question effectively, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of international exchange visits for students.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example