In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation

It is increasingly observed that taking a

job

right away from high school graduation is

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

preferable

than

Change preposition

show examples

enrolling in

university

courses.

While

I acknowledge that Granted, there are some justifiable reasons to explain why

students

are more inclined to start starting a

job

. Chief of these is that it could relieve

financial

Add an article

the financial

show examples

burden for

students

who are underprivileged. Since

university

admission

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

are likely not to be affordable for some families in rural areas,

for example

, joining the workforce could provide them monthly money to support their families and basic needs, not reliant on parents to be financially

financial

Change the word

financially

show examples

stressed to pay for them.

Additionally

job

seekers could gain valuable hands-on experience from these jobs. Practical experiences are usually attracted by

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

employers who prioritize workers to have a specific experience in the selected work field before, in which employees can prove their quality and could probably be given more opportunities to get promotion.

However

, these lines of reasoning are relatively flawed, since there are some jobs requiring qualified certification and their apprenticeship at school

such

as doctors and nurses, which are limited by

this

type of workers.

Therefore

, there are more compelling reasons to say that

university

enrollment is a better choice for having a successful career. One key reason is that learners will be adapted

with

Change preposition

show examples

comprehensive knowledge. Since four-year learning at

university

or college provides

students

with fundamental to

majored

Replace the word

major

show examples

knowledge with frequent assessments,

students

can consolidate and revise their knowledge, generating a source of fully knowledgeable labour.

Furthermore

, a learning environment could benefit

students

on the path of learning. Teamwork activities through presentation and research conducting

allows

Change the verb form

allow

show examples

students

to gain more soft skills,

such

as communication and negotiation, which are

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

prerequisite

Fix the agreement mistake

prerequisites

show examples

for joining

this

competitive workforce. In conclusion,

although

job

hunters right after graduation could gain monetary support and hands-on experience, these factors pale in comparison to pursuing a conventional approach which is higher education, which could have a positive bearing on their long-term career success.

Submitted by ngocthuykatie on Sat Aug 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

The introduction is incomplete and lacks clarity. Present a clear stance at the beginning to outline your argument more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Organize your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should discuss a single main point and support it with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments presented and reinforces your stance.

task achievement

The essay offers a balanced discussion by considering both sides of the argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
enrol
university
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills
experience
workforce
employment
earnings
opportunities
further education
theoretical knowledge
career options
exploitation
balance

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
The increasing presence of multinational companies and globalization is believed by some to have positive implications for everyone involved. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a growing tendency for globalized corporations. Some people harbour a belief that the phenomenon will bring advantages to people. I am inclined to stand neutrally with the statement since it provides multiple possibilities and results in competitive working environments in the meantime. A discussion of this issue as well as my thoughts will be highlighted in the write-up.
4.5
band
A large company In your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children 's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. it has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company.in your letter : •describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team •summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts •say how you think the company should spend the money
I would like to express my appreaation for your decision to spend Money For the benefit of our community - either to spnd a local Juvenile sports team or to arrange two concerts.
5.5
band
In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Child obesity is becoming a common concern in most areas of the world. It is often argued that in most nations children are consuming unhygienic foods which is the leading cause of being overweight. However, some believe that to limit this issue the ministry should take strict steps to limit the growing challenge. In my opinion, it does not only depend on the government but parents also play a crucial role. Therefore I disagree with this statement, that the regime is only responsible.
7
band
Some people think that the government should provide free housing, while others think that it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Home is often considered a warm harbour where our bodies and minds find respite. The question of whether the authority should provide free or affordable housing to residents has sparked a contentious debate. Both sides of this argument have valid points, In my view, the government and residents should share a certain level of responsibility in housing issues.
4.5
band
Some people think that going to a fitness centers regularly is unnecessary. Instead they believe the combining occasional exercise (such as going for walk) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
The necessities of working out is readily apparent to people. Due to diverse ways of exercising, the manner of doing is point of contention. Despite of increasing the number of gyms, non-necessity of going to sport center is advocated for being healthy. By considering all opposite aspects of gym, this essay discusses my proponent of its benefits.

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

The increasing presence of multinational companies and globalization is believed by some to have positive implications for everyone involved. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government should provide free housing, while others think that it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that going to a fitness centers regularly is unnecessary. Instead they believe the combining occasional exercise (such as going for walk) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree.