Countries with long avarage working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Working
Add an article
The working
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path is different in any country. It is often argued that wealthy nations adopt long working
time
whereas
employees in poor countries have reduced shifts.
However
,
this
essay disagrees because short work days increase productivity and the
time
to spend money.
A
Correct article usage
The
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first advantage of countries with short
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
working
time
is that employees are more productive. Numerous jobs require high concentration and eccessive work can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
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in
Change preposition
to
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tiredness and fatigue,
readucing
Correct your spelling
reducing
individual's
capacities
Fix the agreement mistake
capacity
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to think and act
effectivelly
Correct your spelling
effectively
and
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
possible mistakes.
For instance
, many
people
are not only responsible for themselves but
also
for other
people
Change noun form
people's
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lives and
a
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an
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error can
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
a tragedy.
For instance
, in 2011 in
Rome
Add a comma
Rome,
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a bus driver fell
a sleep
Correct your spelling
asleep
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during a double shift causing the death of 9 passengers.
Moreover
, long working shifts do not leave many free
time
to
people
. In order to be economically successful a country
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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consumers. After working
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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of the day,
people
prefer to go home rather
then
Replace the word
than
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go shopping or
at
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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restaurants and
this
results in many small
business
Change to a plural noun
businesses
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forced
Add a missing verb
being forced
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to shut
due
Change preposition
down due
show examples
to the lack of customers, with a
generel
Correct your spelling
general
lost
Replace the word
loss
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of funds for
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the country. A good example
are
Change the verb form
is
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the consequences of Covid-19 where the closure of vacation structures, restaurants, and shops
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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caused a global economic regression. In conclusion,
although
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some countries
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that long shifts can increase national well-being, short working hours are actually more beneficial. Overwhelmed
people
are more likely to commit mistakes
whereas
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
employees are more productive and better consumers.
Submitted by veronicabello on

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task achievement
The essay presents clear and relevant examples to support its main points, such as the Rome bus driver incident and the economic impacts of COVID-19.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear framework and summary of the essay's main arguments.
task achievement
The essay makes a compelling argument by connecting shorter working hours to increased productivity and better consumer activity.

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