Countries with long avarage working time are more economically successful than those countries which do not have long working time. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Working
path is different in any country. It is often argued that wealthy nations adopt long working Add an article
The working
time
whereas
employees in poor countries have reduced shifts. However
, this
essay disagrees because short work days increase productivity and the time
to spend money.
A
first advantage of countries with short Correct article usage
The
avarage
working Correct your spelling
average
time
is that employees are more productive. Numerous jobs require high concentration and eccessive work can leads
Wrong verb form
lead
in
tiredness and fatigue, Change preposition
to
readucing
individual's Correct your spelling
reducing
capacities
to think and act Fix the agreement mistake
capacity
effectivelly
and Correct your spelling
effectively
rising
possible mistakes. Correct your spelling
raising
For instance
, many people
are not only responsible for themselves but also
for other people
lives and Change noun form
people's
a
error can Change the article
an
became
a tragedy. Change the verb form
become
For instance
, in 2011 in Rome
a bus driver fell Add a comma
Rome,
a sleep
during a double shift causing the death of 9 passengers.
Correct your spelling
asleep
Moreover
, long working shifts do not leave many free time
to people
. In order to be economically successful a country need
consumers. After working Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
mostly
of the day, Correct your spelling
most
people
prefer to go home rather then
go shopping or Replace the word
than
at
Change preposition
to
the
restaurants and Correct article usage
apply
this
results in many small business
Change to a plural noun
businesses
forced
to shut Add a missing verb
being forced
due
to the lack of customers, with a Change preposition
down due
generel
Correct your spelling
general
lost
of funds for Replace the word
loss
all
the country. A good example Correct determiner usage
apply
are
the consequences of Covid-19 where the closure of vacation structures, restaurants, and shops Change the verb form
is
have
caused a global economic regression.
In conclusion, Correct subject-verb agreement
has
although
if
some countries Correct word choice
apply
believed
that long shifts can increase national well-being, short working hours are actually more beneficial. Overwhelmed Wrong verb form
believe
people
are more likely to commit mistakes whereas
rest
employees are more productive and better consumers.Correct article usage
the rest
Submitted by veronicabello on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and relevant examples to support its main points, such as the Rome bus driver incident and the economic impacts of COVID-19.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear framework and summary of the essay's main arguments.
task achievement
The essay makes a compelling argument by connecting shorter working hours to increased productivity and better consumer activity.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!