All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
There are a plethora of
countries
in the world and of Use synonyms
course
they all are not the same. Different Add a comma
course,
countries
have their own diverse governments, Use synonyms
therefore
Linking Words
people
seeing another Use synonyms
country
’s living conditions, want to have Use synonyms
such
rights and abilities. Because of Linking Words
Linking Words
this
some individuals think that governments should provide citizens Add a comma
this,
medical
help and Change preposition
with medical
education
for free. Use synonyms
Personally
I fully agree with Add a comma
Personally,
this
statement.
First of all, healthcare is one of the most significant parts of residents’ quality of life. It provides a lot of abilities for Linking Words
people
when they get sick or just want to have a Use synonyms
check up
of their health. Add a hyphen
check-up
Also
, women can track their pregnancy and Linking Words
also
give birth in local hospitals, without spending money on Linking Words
this
. Linking Words
Moreover
, if a person Linking Words
got
injured or illness and needs surgery, they can Wrong verb form
gets
also
get it for free, if they fit the quotes. Linking Words
Otherwise
, in Linking Words
countries
where Use synonyms
people
have to pay for treatment, Use synonyms
such
a situation would be harmful Linking Words
for
residents’ standard of living or even worse, increase the mortality rate. To set an example, in Change the preposition
to
Europe
there is paid medicine. Of Add a comma
Europe,
course
Add a comma
course,
people
have limited free healthcare optionsUse synonyms
,
if they have medical insurance. So, if a person gets a serious illness, he needs to pay for medical treatment and usually Remove the comma
apply
such
options are high-priced.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, there are a plethora of Linking Words
people
who get below-average Use synonyms
salary
, Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
thus
, when they need a cure or a remedy that usually has a high price, they would not be able to provide Linking Words
such
treatments for themselves. Linking Words
As a result
, they die or get a medical loan, which Linking Words
also
makes their financial situation worse. I believe that the government should invest in Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
,
because it would provide them with more specialists in every sphere in the future. If every student Remove the comma
apply
will have
an opportunity to attend universities and get a diploma, notwithstanding their financial situation, Wrong verb form
had
then
the Linking Words
country
would have potential masters who Use synonyms
will
work for the Wrong verb form
would
country
's development. Use synonyms
Also
, there are a lot of grants and scholarships that make students’ lives better in a financial way.
I believe that politicians should provide more opportunities for teenagers to get free Linking Words
education
or at least scholarshipsUse synonyms
,
since it will increase the number of educated Remove the comma
apply
people
in the Use synonyms
country
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the government has to make admission to the university more realistic and easier for foreign students. Linking Words
For instance
, unfortunately, in poor Linking Words
Use synonyms
countries
there is a free Add a comma
countries,
education
, but has low quality, and students usually do not go to the universities after school graduation, Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of
Correct word choice
apply
Correct determiner usage
apply
this
, they prefer to work manual labour jobs and continue to live in poverty. Linking Words
However
, if every Linking Words
country
had a free Use synonyms
education
, Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
had
an opportunity to leave a poor Wrong verb form
would have
country
, get a good Use synonyms
education
and diploma and start their Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
from
a new chapter.
To draw a conclusion, I believe that in the future there will be more places on the Earth where medicine and Change preposition
with
education
are freeUse synonyms
,
since it will decrease poverty and mortality rate. I think that day by day good Remove the comma
apply
education
and healthcare are becoming available only for rich Use synonyms
people
and Use synonyms
this
is unfair for poor Linking Words
people
. If the governments make one of the most crucial parts of residents' lives available for everyone, our world would become more equalUse synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay covers all parts of the prompt and presents a clear stance. However, it would benefit from a more thorough explanation of some ideas. For instance, the argument about free healthcare and education potentially leading to higher qualification of specialists could be expanded and supported with more specific examples or data.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured with distinct paragraphs, a clearer distinction between your main points and supporting details would enhance logical flow. Additionally, try to avoid slight repetitions to maintain reader's interest throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
supported main points
You provide a variety of reasons to support your stance, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example