More and more people want to buy famous brands ofclothes, carsand other items. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In
today
world with Change noun form
today's
dominance
of capitalism, many people buy more items than before, particularly luxury Add an article
the dominance
a dominance
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
such
as brand name
clothes and cars. In Add a hyphen
brand-name
this
essay, the reasons behind this
situation will be discussed in detail and examine whether this
can has
positive or negative consequences.
Change the verb form
have
To begin
with, there are many reasons behind this
individual behaviour, one of the key factors is high social standard
. Fix the agreement mistake
standards
According to
the advancement of social media, people nowadays have
influenced by others with high financial status in Verb problem
are
the
social media. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, owning some luxury stuffs
and showing Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
them
off will gain Correct pronoun usage
it
respectance
and acceptance of Correct your spelling
respect
community
. Add an article
the community
a community
Additionally
, the numerous of
marketing advertisements are sent directly to consumers, significantly Change preposition
apply
encoraging
them to purchase more frequently.
Correct your spelling
encouraging
Consequently
, there are many potential benfits
it provides. Correct your spelling
benefits
On
Change preposition
From
the
social perspective, Correct article usage
a
this
apporach
Correct your spelling
approach
promoting
Wrong verb form
promotes
whole
country's Correct article usage
the whole
economic
, as an Replace the word
economy
increase
in demand
Correct article usage
the demand
of
Change preposition
from
citizen
and rising Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
of
selling products. Change preposition
in
This
could lead to an increase
in productivity
of Correct article usage
the productivity
manufactures
and factories, thereby many companies tend to require more Correct your spelling
manufacturers
workfores
, resulting in Correct your spelling
workforces
workforce
increase
employments
. On the individual side, owning Change preposition
in employments
desire
items could be a Wrong verb form
desired
self-fulfillment
for someone, which gives them Change the spelling
self-fulfilment
feeling
of Add an article
a feeling
the feeling
satastification
. Correct your spelling
stratification
sanctification
Moreover
, this
can reduce large amounts of stress, particulary
who work in a stressful career Correct your spelling
particularly
such
as doctor
, Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
lawyer
or Fix the agreement mistake
lawyers
worker
. Fix the agreement mistake
workers
However
, this
behaviour can bring negative impacts. For instance
, buying an unnecessary and unaffordable items
, Correct the article-noun agreement
unnecessary and unaffordable items
an unnecessary and unaffordable item
causing
financial problems in individuals.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
causes
this
situation offers both social and individual benefits such
as promoting social economic, increase
in employment, serving as self fulfillment
and reducing stress. Add a hyphen
self-fulfillment
While
, without careful thinking, this
causes in
financial issues, I firmly Change preposition
apply
beleive
that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.Correct your spelling
believe
Submitted by sippakorn.wet on
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coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and coherence, try to organize your ideas more logically, ensuring smooth transitions between points and paragraphs.
task achievement
Supporting arguments with more specific and relevant examples can strengthen your points. Provide concrete instances or statistics to back up your statements.
task achievement
Proofreading for grammatical errors and typos can enhance your essay's readability and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion, effectively outlining the essay structure.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task directly, discussing both reasons for and consequences of the trend of purchasing luxury items.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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