In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and there is a lack of a sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

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Nowadays, many of us are living in metropolitan cities and It has
seen
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been seen
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that
people
do not know, who is living next door to them.
This
is clearly a lapse of social intimacy that we had in the past.
This
essay will try to delve
with
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into
show examples
the causes and
solution
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solutions
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of the mentioned issue.
To begin
with, there are a few factors behind
this
problem.
Firstly
,
busy
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a busy
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work schedule is one of the factors. In fact, in the modern era,
people
are working for long hours because they are living in the
money minded
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money-minded
show examples
and
competative
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competitive
world. To illustrate,
according to
a study, average working hours per week have increased by one
third,
as compared to, the late
ninetees
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nineties
.
Therefore
,
people
do not have any time to socialise with
the
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their
show examples
neighbours.
Furthermore
, individuals try to be in their own private space. As a matter of fact, these days, generally
people
are very protective about their
privicy
Correct your spelling
privacy
and they do not allow any outsider to disturb it because of
this
reason
people
do not take
initiative
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the initiative
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to know each other.
Hence
, they love to be in their own private affairs
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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causes
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of sense of community. In order to, solve the issue, residents living in societies should form social groups. Which can arrange social get-togethers, which will not only
provides
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provide
show examples
an opportunity for the
people
to meet each other but
also
could act as a medium to form a social nexus among individuals.
To sum up
,
lack
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the lack
show examples
of sense of
neighbour hood
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neighbourhood
show examples
is caused by
workohlic
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workaholic
culture and
privicy
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privacy
reasons but it can be solved by forming social groups in housing societies, which gives a chance to the residents to know each other and form a social bond.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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task achievement
Consider more detailed explanation or examples for each main point to provide a clearer and more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for minor errors in grammar and punctuation that can be distracting. These include issues like 'It has seen' which should be 'It has been seen,' or 'privicy' which should be 'privacy'.
coherence cohesion
Try to link paragraphs more cohesively. Using linking words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'Therefore,' can improve the overall flow of the essay.
logical structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
introduction conclusion present
You effectively introduced the issue and summarized your argument in the conclusion.
supported main points
You've identified relevant causes such as busy work schedules and desire for privacy, and suggested a solution involving social groups.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sense of community
  • urbanization
  • high-rise buildings
  • gated communities
  • digital communication
  • social media
  • instant messaging
  • face-to-face interaction
  • transience
  • busy schedules
  • work commitments
  • family responsibilities
  • personal hobbies
  • physical barriers
  • casual socialization
  • safety concerns
  • crime
  • urban dwellers
  • housing affordability
  • stable communities
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