The bar chart below shows the numbers of men and women attending various evening courses at an adult education centre in the year 2009. The pie chart gives information about the ages of these course participants.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
males
and females registered for a class at night, in 2009. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the pie chart demonstrates the ages of the course attendants.
Linking Words
Overall
, the proportion of female attendants Linking Words
exceed
the ones of Change the verb form
exceeds
males
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, the majority of the participants are aged 50 years or older.
To commence, the adult training centre offers classes for various forms of art, including drama, painting, sculpture, and language. The number of female Linking Words
members
Use synonyms
outweigh
those of the male participants in all categories except sculptures, where Change the verb form
outweighs
males
are double the number of females. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, female Linking Words
members
exceed the Use synonyms
males
in the other courses, especially the language course, as there are 20 more women than men.
When it comes to age groups, most participants in the training classes are aged 50 or more, making up 42% of the Use synonyms
members
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, people aged between 40 and 49 belong to the second most dominant age group, as they account for approximately a quarter of the Linking Words
members
. People in their 30s and 20s are next on the list, accounting for 16% and 11%, respectively. Use synonyms
Lastly
, the minority of the attendees are younger than 20.Linking Words
Submitted by nareesakbar on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, members with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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