It is better to learn the way people lived in past through films and videos records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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i
Change the capitalization
I
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guess it is better to learn the way
people
lived in past through films and
videos
Change the noun form
video
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records than written
documents
. it will be more
exiting
Correct your spelling
exciting
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and clear for the viewers to learn. in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
see that filming
people
who lived in the past more
Correct word choice
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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documents
in way
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
things to inform the
people
the right way, on the other side some
people
see
the
Correct article usage
apply
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documents
and written books better than videos, they see it
big
Change preposition
as big
show examples
proof because the old
people
wrote it, but in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
see the videos
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
much better and clearly than
documents
and easy to share it and explain it
Submitted by kndr112231 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clear introduction and conclusion. Start with an introductory paragraph that outlines your main argument. Conclude by summarizing your points and reiterating your stance.
coherence cohesion
The flow of your essay needs improvement. Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct main point. This will make your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
While you have provided a response to the task, you need to develop your ideas more thoroughly. Use specific examples and detail to support your points.
task achievement
Make sure each of your ideas is clear and comprehensively explained. Avoid repeating the same point without adding new information.
task achievement
You have taken a clear stance on the topic and attempted to support your viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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