Due to the advancement of technology, more and more people are working from home. This has many benefits to workers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology has made a huge impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Even in the field of jobs, it has changed the whole scenario for employees. Nowadays, individuals can work remotely without compromising the comfort of their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. I completely agree with above mentioned statement because
this
change brings ample amount of benefits to the workers like effective
time
management, enough family
time
and reducing
cost
Add an article
the cost
show examples
of transportation.
Firstly
, Working from home
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
sure that a person can manage their
time
more effectively. A lot of
time
is being wasted
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
commuting from home to
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
but working remotely can save that
time
marginally.
Moreover
, It reduces the cost of commuting by a big margin resulting in
overall
saving by an employee.
A recent
Correct article usage
Recent
show examples
surveys
also
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
that people who are working from
homes
Fix the agreement mistake
home
show examples
are being more productive than those who are working in the offices.
Secondly
, As people are deeply connected with their family members, working remotely gives them an opportunity to stay in touch with them. After finishing their daily task which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
given by the company, an employee can immediately meet with their loved ones.
Additionally
, Individuals can
also
work in the organisation of different
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
which was not possible earlier and it is quite remarkable.
Therefore
,
this
enhancement in
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
sector has changed things considerably. In conclusion, It can be said that modernisation has impacted the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
of workers in a positive way. Whether it is adequate family
time
, scheduling or reducing
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
associated with transportation these advancements are for the betterment of society as a whole.
Submitted by apskhaira17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Try to minimize small grammatical errors, such as 'Moreover, It reduces' which should be 'Moreover, it reduces.'
vocabulary
Utilize more precise vocabulary to strengthen the arguments you present. For instance, rather than saying 'ample amount of benefits,' you could say 'numerous benefits.'
examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. For instance, providing data or a case study could make your argument more compelling.
coherence
The essay has a clear and well-structured logical flow, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.
structure
You provide a strong introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
The points related to time management, family time, and cost reduction are well-made and highly relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advancement of technology
  • work from home
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • daily commute
  • job satisfaction
  • productivity
  • cost savings
  • transportation costs
  • disposable income
  • environmental impact
  • carbon emissions
  • traffic congestion
  • sustainable
  • professional and personal responsibilities
  • rigid work schedule
  • mental and physical health
  • exposure to illnesses
  • control over work environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: