Some people believe that space travel is a waste of government money while others believe it is important for human development. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

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Some people believe that
space
Use synonyms
travel is a waste of government money
while
Linking Words
others believe it is important for human development. the
space
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hides a lot of secrets behind him and people are curious they are
welling
Correct your spelling
willing
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to pay millions to know what
space
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hides.
they
Correct pronoun usage
There
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are advantages and disadvantages, travelling to
space
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had
Wrong verb form
has
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helped us to evolve the earth by satellites and sharing the network, on the other side countries are spending a lot of money for travelling to
space
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and people die in there.
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
In
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the end o see that travelling to
space
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is not a waste of money because it
helped
Wrong verb form
helps
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is
Correct your spelling
us
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to evolve and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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it easy to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
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each other.
Submitted by kndr112231 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay better. Start with an introduction that clearly states both the views and your opinion. Then, use separate paragraphs to discuss each view in detail, and end with a conclusion that reiterates your opinion.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly. When discussing both sides of the argument, provide specific examples or evidence to support your points. For example, you can mention specific advancements achieved through space exploration.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay and connect your ideas more smoothly. Words like 'moreover', 'however', 'on the other hand', and 'therefore' can help link your thoughts.
task achievement
You have expressed a clear opinion on the topic, which is important for the task.
task achievement
Your essay does touch on both views regarding space travel, fulfilling the basic requirement of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate resources
  • technological innovation
  • benefit multiple sectors
  • immediate needs of society
  • long-term survival of humanity
  • habitable planets
  • potential risks
  • space debris
  • national prestige
  • foster international cooperation
  • united global community
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