Some people think that the internet makes a person more sociable, while others think it makes a person less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some
people
argue that the internet
makes people
more sociable, while
others do not think so. Instead
, it makes people
less sociable. On one side, people
can socialize with many humans around the world without border restrictions. On the other hand
, it is totally true that internet
Correct article usage
the internet
have
made Change the verb form
has
people
withdrawn
themselves from society. In my opinion, I agree with the second statement.
Indeed, the Wrong verb form
withdraw
internet
have
Change the verb form
has
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
to connect
one person to another. It is possible Change preposition
in connecting
us
to make new Change preposition
for us
friends
from different provinces or even countries. For example
, I can have mutuals on Facebook from different states with me. We are sharing about our cultures, discussing about
social issues, exchanging perspectives, and many more. But, because I do not know her in person, so I do not share my personal identity. It means that when Remove the preposition
apply
people
build connections, people
must aware
of Add a missing verb
be aware
type
Correct article usage
the type
people
Change preposition
of people
who
they Change the pronoun
whom
are
met Verb problem
have
from
the Change preposition
on
internet
.
On the flip side, internet
makes Add an article
the internet
people
more engage
to search Replace the word
engaged
relatives
from social media, Change preposition
for relatives
instead
of face-to-face relationship
. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
For instance
, my friend
become
a shy, quiet, close person after she gets one Change the verb form
becomes
friend
from different areas with us. In school, she more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
choose
to spend her time by doing Change the verb form
chooses
online
Add an article
an online
chat
with her Replace the word
chatting
friend
on Twitter rather than Fix the agreement mistake
friends
talk
to us Wrong verb form
talking
which
are her Correct pronoun usage
who
friends
at school. Certainly, it is not good for her as social human lives.
After seeing both views, it can not be denied that the internet
have
made Change the verb form
has
people
more sociable and on the other sides make
them less sociable. As I mentioned before, I could not agree anymore with the second opinion. Based on my Wrong verb form
made
friend
's story, it will be better to have friends
in a
real world. But, it is not wrong to make online Correct article usage
the
friends
as long as it gives
Verb problem
has
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
impacts
.Fix the agreement mistake
impact
Submitted by wishmeluck on
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grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'internet have' should be 'internet has').
clarity
Ensure all sentences are clear and free from structural errors to enhance comprehensibility.
supporting details
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will make your essay more compelling and credible.
organization
The introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively frame the discussion.
task response
You have addressed both views, providing a balanced discussion before stating your opinion. This approach effectively meets the task requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.