Some people say that the education system is the only critical factor in development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The differences
of
culture
We learn Change preposition
in
cultural
differences
It is often believed that education is the most significant for the development of a nation. I partially disagree with Change preposition
about cultural
this
, for social interactions promote peace and harmony regardless of the fact that education ensures fundamental skills and knowledge that are essential to boost the national economy.
On the one hand, education is critical for the progress of a country since it provides people with necessary
intelligence and techniques. Correct article usage
the necessary
In other words
, their sophistication increases as they learn various subjects at school including mathematics, language and history. Furthermore
, students gain a better understanding of the society they live in from different perspectives, which encourages them to be responsible as well as
independent workers. As a result
, the general improvement of knowledge and skills promotes national prosperity as they create new items and services, stimulating the economy.
On the other hand
, social interactions play a significant role in developing a sense of peacefulness for the improvement of a nation. Indeed, the interactions of people are fundamental in every aspect of their lives, which promotes a better understanding of each other. For example
, a traditional festival called "Bonodori"in Japan makes an incredible contribution to the establishment of an intimate relationship within local communities as they are more encouraged to have fun through a unique dance. Consequently
, their interest in other people rises, promoting cooperation and respect in the country.Submitted by mizuho on
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introduction conclusion present
Enhance the introductory paragraph to more clearly lay out the main arguments. Consider adding a brief conclusion to provide a well-rounded response to the essay question.
logical structure
Although the ideas are clear, the structure could be improved with better use of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
supported main points
Your essay would benefit from greater depth and development of each main point. Try to provide more comprehensive explanations or additional examples to back up your arguments.
complete response
Strengthen your argument by better balancing your response. While you mention the importance of education and social interactions, the essay could be more nuanced in terms of how you partially agree with the statement.
relevant specific examples
You have relevant and specific examples, such as the example of the Japanese festival ‘Bonodori’, which effectively support your points.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay includes clear and comprehensive ideas about the importance of education and social interactions for a nation's development.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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