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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates how much consumption by citizens among different
age
Use synonyms
 groups in the UK in 2004.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 spending money on food and drink has risen gradually.
Also
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 under 30 consumed the most in restaurants and hotels
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 aged 61 to 75
years
Use synonyms
 old rated the highest on entertainment. Expenditure citizens consumed on food and drink had an upward trend of roughly 7% for those under 30
years
Use synonyms
 old and
age
Use synonyms
 more than 75
years
Use synonyms
 old rating around 23%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of restaurants and hotels had a large fluctuation. Under 30
years
Use synonyms
 old had the highest proportion nearly 14%
while
Linking Words
 the lowest was 61 to 75
years
Use synonyms
 old which was approximately 2%.
Age
Use synonyms
 among 31 to 45 and 46 to 60 had the same figure of roughly 13% which had a slight difference compared to
age
Use synonyms
 under 30
years
Use synonyms
 old.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 under 30 rated the lowest at 7% followed by
age
Use synonyms
 31 to 45 which was roughly 8%.
Age
Use synonyms
 from 61
years
Use synonyms
 old to 75
years
Use synonyms
 old reached the peak at approximately 23% which was the highest proportion of the entire chart.
Submitted by wjddbs2206 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Expenditure
  • Categories
  • Age groups
  • Residents
  • Summarize
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Trends
  • Patterns
  • Spending habits
  • Life stages
  • Childcare costs
  • Healthcare costs
  • Outliers
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Cultural factors
  • Leisure activities
  • Financial outlays
  • Demographics
  • Percentage
  • Allocation of funds
  • Consumption
  • Discretionary spending
  • Essential expenses
  • Generational differences
  • Income bracket
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