The issue of gay marriage remains controversial. Some people think that this trend has adverse effects on the society while others believe that it is seen as a natural trend and right for people to choose this type of marriage. Should gay marriage be legal?

It is undeniable that in
twenty first
Add a hyphen
twenty-first
show examples
century
Add a comma
century,
show examples
it is seen as a natural trend and right for people to select
this
type of marriage.
However
, there are some individuals who do not support
this
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
of
relationships
Fix the agreement mistake
relationship
show examples
and they believe that
this
trend has negative effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Personally, I tend to think that in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
century, all human being has their own rights and has more freedom than in the past. So they can do whatever they want and do things that bring them elation and gay marriage have to be legal in every country. First of all, I want to mention that even in the past there were some gays, they had just been hidden. It means that
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
types of relationships
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
developing long period and we can not stop
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, I do not comprehend why they are trying to stop them. It would change nothing except some ruined
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
they have to have rights like normal individuals. Because it is their choice with whom they want to be together.
Furthermore
, even if it was illegal to get married to their own gender, they would not stop being homosexuals. A good example is Kazakhstan. It is illegal to make gay marriage there.
However
, I heard some rumours that in the city called Almaty live too many homosexuals. So, it means that societies need to finish their rebellions about
this
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it does not bring anything. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I can say that currently
this
trend is normal and people should accept
this
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Although your main argument is clear, providing specific examples or evidence would strengthen your essay. Try to incorporate cases, statistics, or references to bolster your argument.
task achievement
Ensure you fully answer the question. Discuss arguments for both sides before concluding with your viewpoint to create a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph contributes new information or perspectives to the argument. This will help to maintain reader engagement and create a more robust essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your topic sentences to make them more compelling and directly related to your main argument. This will help guide your reader through the essay more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which sets the context and summarizes your viewpoint.
task achievement
Your viewpoint on the topic is clear and consistent throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: