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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comaprisions where relevant.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comaprisions where relevant.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show #summarise #features #comaprisions
The charts show the
allocation
 of
police
budget
 and the table
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 where the
budget
 came from for 2017 and 2018.
Overall
, there was an incremental of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
police
budget
 from 2017 to 2018 and there was
also
 a change in the
allocation
 of the
budget
, especially in
technology
Correct article usage
the technology
show examples
 sector and salaries. Looking at the table,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
police
budget
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from 304.7
million
 in 2017 to 318.6
million
 in the next
year
 because two main sources,
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 government and local tax, contributed more money in 2018 than
last
year
, where the former
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 their
allocation
 around 2
million
 and the latter gave more almost 10
million
 in 2018 compared to the previous
year
.
As a result
, the total
budget
 in 2018 rose
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 12
million
 compared to the
budget
 in 2017.
Moreover
, the
budget
 utilisation was
also
 changed where 14% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
police
budget
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 allocated for technology in 2018, 5% bigger than the previous
year
.
As a result
, the
budget
allocation
 for salaries
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
6
Change preposition
by 6
show examples
% in 2018 compared to
allocation
Correct article usage
the allocation
show examples
 in 2017. Meanwhile, the
budget
allocation
 for building and transport had
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 percentage in 2017 and 2018, which was 17% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
budget
.
Submitted by bhaswarawira on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, as a result".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words allocation, police, budget, million, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼

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