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Writing Samples
Band 7

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

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In
this
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 contemporary world, it is argued that adults spend a huge amount of their lives at
work
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, and
job
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satisfaction
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 is vital for
overall
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 well-being.
This
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 is achieved by a great atmosphere and money. In my opinion, expectations of
job
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satisfaction
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 for all workers are unrealistic since everyone is unique. There are two factors that contribute to
job
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 gratification.
Firstly
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, money. When
people
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 have a huge salary, they receive great motivation as they know the more they
work
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, the more reward they receive. And, of course, they always are encouraged with cash by their supervisors to
work
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 more and harder
Secondly
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, a great atmosphere,
that is
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,good
people
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. Open and friendly colleagues who are always ready to help, teach and explain; a boss who, seeing your efforts, promotes you.
Moreover
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, flexible working hours.
This
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 helps workers to have a great balance between working time and leisure. Take my neighbour as an example. She works as a teacher at an educational centre. She has a specific schedule that she follows, and in her spare time, Alisa does whatever she wants.
In other words
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, all these factors help
people
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 to get
satisfaction
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 from their
job
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. In my opinion, expectations of
job
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 gratification are unrealistic for all employees. Every person is unique. Some
people
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 want to overwork for extra payment,
while
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 others do not need
this
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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 are difficult to satisfy. Specifically, a person complains that he does not get gratification from
work
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, but as soon as he finds a
job
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 he likes, he is embarrassed by the low salary. And,
therefore
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, it is unrealistic for all employees. In conclusion, factors
such
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 as a huge salary and a great atmosphere contribute to
work
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satisfaction
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 and it is unrealistic for all employees as everyone is unique.

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task achievement
Expand on the points discussed. For instance, the importance of money and a great atmosphere could include more varied examples and scenarios.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs equally. Some ideas, such as flexible working hours, were mentioned briefly and could be elaborated for more impact.
task achievement
Avoid redundancy. The essay repeats the concept that job satisfaction is unrealistic for all employees without adding new perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between paragraphs and points to enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include more varied linking devices to improve the cohesion between sentences, making the text smoother to read.
coherence cohesion
Use more precise language to clearly illustrate more complex ideas, particularly in the discussion about the unrealistic expectations of job satisfaction.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
Good use of examples, such as the neighbor who is a teacher, to illustrate points about job satisfaction.
task achievement
The essay remains focused on the topic and addresses both parts of the question effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are logically organized within paragraphs, enhancing overall readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • wellbeing
  • contribute
  • meaningful work
  • work-life balance
  • career progression
  • workplace environment
  • recognition
  • constructive feedback
  • compensation
  • benefits
  • job security
  • autonomy
  • skills match
  • interests match
  • variety
  • challenge
  • economic conditions
  • labor market
  • individual expectations
  • job role
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