In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays,
government
have Add an article
the government
higher
demand to increase the Correct article usage
a higher
Use synonyms
cities
size. Change noun form
city's
cities'
However
, the Linking Words
increasing
Replace the word
increase
cause
many serious Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
problems
that could be Use synonyms
diminsh
by providing solutions. Correct your spelling
diminished
diminish
This
essay will propose the Linking Words
problems
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
issues
Correct word choice
and issues
may
occur Correct pronoun usage
that may
as a result
of increasing and the solutions.
Big Linking Words
cities
encounter Use synonyms
a
severe Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
issues
which hold a serious impact. Numerous academic articles Use synonyms
show
recently that when Wrong verb form
have shown
cities
become larger Use synonyms
the
environmental Correct article usage
apply
problems
occur. Use synonyms
For example
, discussing Linking Words
a serious
Correct the article-noun agreement
serious problems
a serious problem
problems
like pollution indicated as Use synonyms
a
harmful Correct article usage
apply
for
nature and lead to destruction. Change preposition
to
Consequently
, if there is Linking Words
Correct article usage
an unstablised
unstablised
environment affected by Correct your spelling
unstable
emission
that would cause Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
a
Correct article usage
apply
sever
health Correct your spelling
severe
problems
for individuals Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
this
city. People could struggle Linking Words
from
health Change preposition
with
issues
that Use synonyms
affected
Wrong verb form
affect
lungs
. These Correct pronoun usage
their lungs
problems
Use synonyms
considered
Add a missing verb
are considered
a
serious Correct article usage
apply
issues
, Use synonyms
furthermore
, Linking Words
impacted
at population in their environment and health.
The above points discussed harmful Wrong verb form
impact
issues
, Use synonyms
however
, the solution Linking Words
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
as
effective. Avoiding Change preposition
apply
problems
related to Use synonyms
environment
particularly Add an article
the environment
government
should start planting and Correct article usage
the government
encoruge
people to assist the government. Studies show that planting Correct your spelling
encouraging
fight
pollution by killing Fix the agreement mistake
fights
oxyied
carbon and Correct your spelling
oxygen
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
a
clean air. Remove the article
apply
Cities
might show a higher demand for factories than other Use synonyms
cities
, Use synonyms
however
, these factories must located far away from the population to be protected from pollution.
In conclusion, large Linking Words
cities
demonstrate a problem Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
that make
make
the population Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
suffering
. More importantly, these Wrong verb form
suffer
issues
could be managed by planting and putting factories in far Use synonyms
destination
.Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task and discusses both problems and solutions effectively. However, the examples and explanations provided could be more specific and detailed. For instance, when discussing pollution and health issues, providing specific data or case studies could strengthen your argument. Ensure that the points made are elaborated comprehensively to show a deeper understanding of the issues.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is generally cohesive but could benefit from a clearer logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a basic structure, but transitions between ideas and paragraphs can be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to ensure a more seamless flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, words like 'Moreover', 'Additionally', and 'Furthermore' can help to connect ideas more coherently.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points are mentioned but could be more robustly supported. Consider breaking down larger ideas into smaller, more manageable points. This will help in ensuring that each paragraph is focused and easier for the reader to follow.
Task Achievement
The essay successfully identifies and addresses the main problems associated with increasing city sizes, as well as proposing potential solutions. This shows a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the discussion and provide a sense of closure.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay structure shows an effort to address both sides of the issue, which is important for a balanced argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.