IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as poor people become poorer and rich people become richer. What problems could this situations casue??what are the solutions to address those problems??

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It is important to understand, why there is a gap between high-income
individuals
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 and low-income
individuals
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 which is getting worse day after another.
This
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 essay will highlight two resulting issues from
this
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 trend, and propose two ways to mitigate
this
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 problem. Considering
firstly
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 the troubles that may arise from
such
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trend
Correct article usage
a trend
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,
this
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 may lead to
increase
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an increase
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the
Change preposition
in the
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 rate of thefts and
robbery
Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
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.
For example
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, in America during the
last
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 3 years, after criminal investigation they found that 99 per cent of thefts
have
Verb problem
involved
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 less money,
while
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such
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 a phenomenon cannot be found among rich
people
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.
Secondly
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, the big difference in
Correct article usage
the socioeconomical
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socioeconomical
Correct your spelling
socioeconomic
 status of
individuals
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 may
leads
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lead
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 to psychological problems.
For instance
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, when poor
people
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 compare themselves to wealthy
people
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 they may feel sad and insecure,
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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 of insecurities may lead to behavioural challenges and depression.
Nevertheless
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, these issues could be reduced with some measures in place. Starting with providing educational rights to everyone equally.
For instance
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, poor
individuals
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 should not feel discriminated against, and they get their chance for education in order to get better life opportunities and develop themselves, so they can improve their income and quality of life.
Furthermore
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, government should apply more taxes on rich
people
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, and give that money to
people
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 with low income in order to decrease the gap between both. The Tax money should be invested in providing more schools,
books
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and books
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, and paying for teachers to allow poor
people
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 education. In conclusion, day after day the distance between
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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 and
rich
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the rich
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 is getting worse, which leads to major problems like the increasing number of criminals
and
Correct word choice
apply
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thefts, and mental issues.
Although
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 these problems can be surmountable by free education and tax applications.

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task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task, presenting and discussing two problems caused by the widening gap between the rich and the poor and proposing two solutions. However, the examples could be more specific and directly support the points being made. Consider using more detailed and varied examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transition between some ideas can be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next and that the connections between ideas are clear.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the key points.
task achievement
The ideas are clearly presented, and the main points are relevant to the task, addressing both problems and solutions.
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