Some people believe that is best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations

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While

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

think that it is best to accept a bad

situation

Use synonyms

for

Linking Words

instance

Add the comma(s)

instance,

show examples

an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, I believe

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

later

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

statement that it is better to improve and try

such

Linking Words

situations. On the one hand,

to avoid

Change the verb form

avoiding

show examples

stress is the reason why it is best to accept a bad

situation

Use synonyms

for some

people

Use synonyms

. Stress can potentially bring mental health

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

for some

people

Use synonyms

The mental

Correct article usage

Mental

show examples

health

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

can probably enable

people

Use synonyms

Add the particle

to do

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

such

Linking Words

as suicide.

Thus

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

feel it is much better to accept the bad

situation

Use synonyms

and just to make them alive.

However

Linking Words

, I do not think

this

Linking Words

is a serious problem as long as

people

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

aware

with

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental health

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

, so

this

Linking Words

situation

Use synonyms

can not

bring

Verb problem

cause

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to do

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stupid

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

like that.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

try

Wrong verb form

trying

show examples

and improve a bad

situation

Use synonyms

is far

much

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

better because it can potentially lead to a

succes

Correct your spelling

successful

condition that

people

Use synonyms

may not

predict

Wrong verb form

have predicted

show examples

before.

For example

Linking Words

, Jhon LBF, a

populer

Correct your spelling

popular

businessman in Indonesia, was an ordinary marketing

staf

Correct your spelling

staff

by the year 2020. Since he has tried so hard to be the best employee for three years, he can now achieve the director position and be popular with his story

Change preposition

show examples

social media.

This

Linking Words

is why I believe

Correct pronoun usage

we to

show examples

not give up

with

Change preposition

show examples

a bad

situation

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

Correct article usage

an unsastifactory

show examples

unsastifactory

Correct your spelling

unsatisfactory

job and prefer to push

ourself

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

to do more or improve our

skils

Correct your spelling

skills

show examples

. In conclusion

while

Linking Words

to avoid

Change the verb form

avoiding

show examples

stress is the reason why it is best to accept a bad

situation

Use synonyms

, I strongly believe

belive

Verb problem

that trying

show examples

to try and improve a bad

situation

Use synonyms

is far much better because it can potentially lead to a

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

condition.

Submitted by adittyafatma on Sun Sep 01 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the task and presents both views on the topic. However, the argument can be made more balanced and nuanced. Try to elaborate more on reasons why some people choose to accept bad situations and provide further examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance the clarity and flow of the argument. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points of discussion.

task achievement

The use of an example, such as the story of Jhon LBF, effectively supports the argument that trying to improve a bad situation can lead to success.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

adversity
resilience
stoicism
contentment
cope
adapt
endure
persevere
settle
ambition
tenacious
determined
resourceful
optimistic
self-improvement
proactive
initiative
transform
overcome
confront

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Some people believe that is best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

Tourists damage many historical places, making them harder to preserve. What are some of the reasons for this? Suggest some ways to resolve this problem.

Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to your friend who lives in a different country about your plan to work overseas. In your letter explain: What jobs do you plan to do? Why do you want to work overseas? Ask for some information related to jobs, such as salary, working hours and so on

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, goverentments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products To what extend do you agree or disagree?