Some people believe that is best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
While
some people
think that it is best to accept a bad situation
, for
instance
an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, I believe Add the comma(s)
instance,
with
the Change preposition
apply
later
statement that it is better to improve and try Correct your spelling
latter
such
situations.
On the one hand, to avoid
stress is the reason why it is best to accept a bad Change the verb form
avoiding
situation
for some people
. Stress can potentially bring mental health issue
for some Fix the agreement mistake
issues
people
. The mental
health Correct article usage
Mental
issue
can probably enable Fix the agreement mistake
issues
people
do
Add the particle
to do
the
negative Correct article usage
apply
thing
, Fix the agreement mistake
things
such
as suicide. Thus
, people
feel it is much better to accept the bad situation
and just to make them alive. However
, I do not think this
is a serious problem as long as people
more
aware Add a missing verb
are more
with
Change preposition
of
the
mental health Correct article usage
apply
issue
, so Fix the agreement mistake
issues
this
situation
can not bring
Verb problem
cause
people
to do the
stupid Correct article usage
apply
thing
like that.
Fix the agreement mistake
things
On the other hand
, I belive
Correct your spelling
believe
try
and improve a bad Wrong verb form
trying
situation
is far much
better because it can potentially lead to a Fix the agreement mistake
apply
succes
condition that Correct your spelling
successful
people
may not predict
before. Wrong verb form
have predicted
For example
, Jhon LBF, a populer
businessman in Indonesia, was an ordinary marketing Correct your spelling
popular
staf
by the year 2020. Since he has tried so hard to be the best employee for three years, he can now achieve the director position and be popular with his story Correct your spelling
staff
in
social media. Change preposition
on
This
is why I believe to
not give up Correct pronoun usage
we to
with
a bad Change preposition
on
situation
, such
as Correct article usage
an unsastifactory
unsastifactory
job and prefer to push Correct your spelling
unsatisfactory
ourself
to do more or improve our Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
skils
.
In conclusion Correct your spelling
skills
while
to avoid
stress is the reason why it is best to accept a bad Change the verb form
avoiding
situation
, I strongly believe belive
to try and improve a bad Verb problem
that trying
situation
is far much better because it can potentially lead to a success
condition.Replace the word
successful
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task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents both views on the topic. However, the argument can be made more balanced and nuanced. Try to elaborate more on reasons why some people choose to accept bad situations and provide further examples or evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance the clarity and flow of the argument. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points of discussion.
task achievement
The use of an example, such as the story of Jhon LBF, effectively supports the argument that trying to improve a bad situation can lead to success.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.