Some people believe that is best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations

While

some

people

think that it is best to accept a bad

situation

for

instance

Add the comma(s)

instance,

show examples

an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, I believe

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

later

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

statement that it is better to improve and try

such

situations. On the one hand,

to avoid

Change the verb form

avoiding

show examples

stress is the reason why it is best to accept a bad

situation

for some

people

. Stress can potentially bring mental health

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

for some

people

The mental

Correct article usage

Mental

show examples

health

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

can probably enable

people

Add the particle

to do

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

such

as suicide.

Thus

people

feel it is much better to accept the bad

situation

and just to make them alive.

However

, I do not think

this

is a serious problem as long as

people

Add a missing verb

are more

show examples

aware

with

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental health

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

, so

this

situation

can not

bring

Verb problem

cause

show examples

people

to do

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stupid

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

like that.

On the other hand

, I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

try

Wrong verb form

trying

show examples

and improve a bad

situation

is far

much

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

better because it can potentially lead to a

succes

Correct your spelling

successful

condition that

people

may not

predict

Wrong verb form

have predicted

show examples

before.

For example

, Jhon LBF, a

populer

Correct your spelling

popular

businessman in Indonesia, was an ordinary marketing

staf

Correct your spelling

staff

by the year 2020. Since he has tried so hard to be the best employee for three years, he can now achieve the director position and be popular with his story

Change preposition

show examples

social media.

This

is why I believe

Correct pronoun usage

we to

show examples

not give up

with

Change preposition

show examples

a bad

situation

such

Correct article usage

an unsastifactory

show examples

unsastifactory

Correct your spelling

unsatisfactory

job and prefer to push

ourself

Correct pronoun usage

ourselves

show examples

to do more or improve our

skils

Correct your spelling

skills

show examples

. In conclusion

while

to avoid

Change the verb form

avoiding

show examples

stress is the reason why it is best to accept a bad

situation

, I strongly believe

belive

Verb problem

that trying

show examples

to try and improve a bad

situation

is far much better because it can potentially lead to a

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

condition.

Submitted by adittyafatma on Sun Sep 01 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the task and presents both views on the topic. However, the argument can be made more balanced and nuanced. Try to elaborate more on reasons why some people choose to accept bad situations and provide further examples or evidence.

coherence cohesion

Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance the clarity and flow of the argument. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the main points of discussion.

task achievement

The use of an example, such as the story of Jhon LBF, effectively supports the argument that trying to improve a bad situation can lead to success.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adversity
resilience
stoicism
contentment
cope
adapt
endure
persevere
settle
ambition
tenacious
determined
resourceful
optimistic
self-improvement
proactive
initiative
transform
overcome
confront

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Some people believe that is best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

On one hand, nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. On the other hand, nuclear weapons are a potent threat to world peace. Do the benefits of nuclear technology outweigh the risks? Give your opinion and support it with reasons.

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

The widespread use of the Internet has brought many problems. What do you think are the main problems associated with the use of the Internet? What solutions can you suggest?

Countries should produce enough food for their own population and import as little as possible. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion.