You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Reporting of crimes and other kinds of violent news on television and in newspapers can have adverse consquences. This kind of information should be restricted from being shown in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? You should write at least 250 words.
Television and newspapers play a vital role in creating mass awareness whether it be violent or not. I strongly agree that
such
criminal activities
going on around the world should be exposed to all so that we can know that they exist and become wise beforehand.
Criminal activities
such
as robbery , kidnapping, rape , murder and so on are increasing day by day. Not until various means and medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
such
as newspapers have
discovered , Verb problem
were
we
Correct word choice
that we
knew
Wrong verb form
know
nothing
about various information Correct pronoun usage
anything
beside
our own Replace the word
besides
place
.
For instance
: in some specific places like tourist areas, the problem of pickpocket
is a serious issue Wrong verb form
pickpocketing
in
all around the world.Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, such
news can prevent tourists and even local people to fall
from their trap and Change preposition
from falling
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
the
money.
Correct article usage
apply
Similarly
, it is not safe to travel to places like Iraq where people are randomly shot by the
terroristsCorrect article usage
apply
there
. Rephrase
apply
Hence
, we should look into the news for which place
is safe to travel as well.
Secondly
, it might be disheartening and can affect mental health to know such
inhuman activities
taking place
. However
, if such
information are
shared , Change the verb form
is
such
activities
can decrease or get rid of from happening . In fact, several strong measures can be taken to prevent them by the government from happening in his or her place
.
To conclude
, prevention is better than cure. If anything bad is going to happen such
as war or robbery, such
news are
to be shared and create awareness among people.Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Submitted by raialon4047 on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas more effectively. Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Avoid redundancy and repetition. Try to express your points clearly and concisely.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in making your arguments more organized and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by giving reasons and examples why reporting crimes and violent news should not be restricted.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-rounded argument and considers different perspectives on the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.