In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It goes without saying that we live in an age and decade when human beings' livelihood is enhanced via huge improvements in the healthcare system,
as well as
other environmental changes. There is still a huge dichotomy among society members, someone
Correct your spelling
some
convinced
that there are huge beneficial consequences for society, Add a missing verb
are convinced
while
other people
think that detrimental ramifications of living longer tip the scales overwhelmingly. Personally, I advocate to
Change preposition
in
this
case that all human beings should live longer and gain satisfaction from every moment of life.
First and foremost, it is worth noticing that people
of senior age, and aged one's
are the main source of wisdom, inspiration and unwavering love and support for youngsters, mainly adolescents. If qualified, professionals in their field and specialisation will live longer, without any doubts they can pass their knowledge to the new generation and in Change the noun form
ones
one
this
way, there will be a cycle of valuable information, as well as
multifaceted and versatile knowledge about the history, which is necessary for different country developments. To cite an example, I genuinely can notice that my remarkable grandmother provided me with valuable information and taught me many actions, like cooking masterpieces of cookery art and mouth-watering national dishes, in my daily routine it helps me a lot. Additionally
, every creature of nature should live a long and healthy life due to
the fact that we come to this
planet only once and everyone should utilize this
possibility wholeheartedly.
On the other hand
, a multitude of individuals think that elder people
create more detrimental issues in their lives, rather than benefit society. It is evident, that as we get older, our body, mental and physical health, as well as
psychological face noticeable changes and the consciousness of individuals declines significantly. As a result
, they are like burdens for their relatives and doctors in hospitals which spend a huge amount of time for them. Additionally
, expenditures on seniors ages which suffer from life-threatening diseases increase day by day. For instance
, many seniors cannot even feed and take the bathroom by themselves, it takes a lot of power to do it and adults who suffer from Alzheimer
disease or dimension might be a potential source of danger for surrounding Change noun form
Alzheimer's
people
.
To sum up
, despite some ramifications of being old, all of us will encounter this
age and we should not see seniors as a burden. Instead
, we should appreciate them and provide them with all the facilities that make them happy and reinforce the livelihood of their lives.Submitted by paronen91 on
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coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, consider structuring your ideas more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within the paragraph flow logically from one to the next.
task achievement
To enhance task achievement, make sure to elaborate on your points with more detailed explanations. While you provided good examples, deeper analysis will strengthen your argument.
general
Avoid overly complex sentence structures as they can sometimes obscure your meaning. Simple and clear sentences will make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on using transitional phrases and linking words effectively to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
Your essay provides relevant and specific examples, which help to illustrate your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, which frames your argument well.
task achievement
You have addressed the task adequately, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...