Some people believe that participating in competitive sports can be beneficial for children, while others think it may have negative effects. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children participating in competitive sports?

#people #sports #children #effects

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Although

competitive

sports

are thought by some to be a useful experience for

children

, other people consider that it can be detrimental.

Children

can learn to value

competition

and gain self-confidence from taking part in

sports

but there are

also

drawbacks to be taken into account.

Firstly

, one benefit of

children

taking part in competitive

sports

is that they understand the value of

competition

. When

children

see a direct connection between hard work and success, they realize

importance

Add an article

the importance

show examples

of the sport.

Secondly

, participating in a

game

is advantageous because

children

can learn various skills like time management. Many

sports

for instance

, cricket and tennis, require them to make a whole day schedule for their practice.

Thirdly

children

can improve their confidence level

while

playing against other teams. After winning a

game

, they believe that they can achieve anything if they work hard to win a

competition

On the other hand

, one problem when

children

face a

competition

sports

is that they

affect

Wrong verb form

are affected

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mental health.

For example

children

have more emphasis on winning a

game

at any cost, they do not have an idea of failure.

As a result

, they experience stress and depression if they do not win the

game

. Another possible issue is that the time

children

spend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing a sport prevents them from focusing on their schoolwork. Having a good education is the key to

successful

Correct article usage

a successful

show examples

future so a child who participates in

sports

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

would have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor academic performance which can be harmful in the long run. In conclusion,

while

children

can benefit from being a part of

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

competitive

sports

, it can

also

lead to the problem of mental health or low grades at school.

Submitted by parmarheena277254 on Mon Sep 02 2024

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task achievement

Your essay responds well to the task, providing both advantages and disadvantages of children participating in competitive sports. However, to improve your score, ensure that each idea is developed more comprehensively. For example, expand on how time management skills are developed through sports.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is generally clear and organized, but there are some issues with logical flow. Some sentences could be better connected, and the transition between ideas should be smoother. Using more linking phrases and ensuring each paragraph flows logically from one to the next will improve coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Though your introduction and conclusion are generally effective, you could enhance them by making them more engaging and ensuring they comprehensively cover all points discussed in the essay. Make sure your conclusion doesn't just repeat the introduction but also summarizes the key points discussed.

task achievement

You have effectively introduced the topic and set the context for discussing both advantages and disadvantages of children participating in competitive sports. This contributes positively to the task response.

coherence cohesion

Your paragraphs are generally well-structured, with clear main ideas that are supported by examples. The structure of your essay shows a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which aids in coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Your essay covers relevant examples and includes various aspects of the topic, which contributes to a clear and comprehensible response. This helps in achieving a good task response.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Some people believe that participating in competitive sports can be beneficial for children, while others think it may have negative effects. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children participating in competitive sports?

Your opinion

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development ?

Some people argue that spending a lot of money holding birthday parties, wedding parties and other celebration is a waste of money. However, others believe such parties are important for individuals and for society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many employers think that social skills are as important as good qualifications for employing people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? what could be disadvantages fo being self employed?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?