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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
Some people believe that
children
 should be taught by their
parents
 about being good citizens of the country,
while
 others think that the ideal place to educate these
children
 is
educational
Change preposition
in educational
show examples
 institutions.
This
 essay will discuss both views and state my opinion.
First,
it is a major role for
parents
 to educate their
children
 on their proper
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and social norms. When
parents
 spend adequate time teaching their
children
 how to behave, it increases the likelihood that their
children
 will grow up into valuable and responsible members of society.
In addition
,
parents
 are often considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
role models and the closest people to their
children
;
therefore
, most of the
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is influenced by their own
parents
. It can be seen from the facts that many
children
 not just look like their
parents
 but
also
 have similar
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is a crucial role for
parents
 to teach their
children
 how to become a good human being. Educational Institutions,
on the other hand
, are responsible for educating students during school hours. Since students spend most of their time at school, their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 is heavily influenced not only by their
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 but
also
 by their friends and surroundings.
Children
 usually absorb knowledge and emulate
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 more efficiently from their classmates, as they tend to relate better to others of the same age.
Thus
, the school environment and friend interactions are essential for shaping
children
's attitudes and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. In my point of view,
children
 should receive guidance from both their
parents
 and educational institutions. Without either of them,
children
 may miss out on some of the critical lessons necessary for becoming a fully developed person
as well as
 a good member of society.
Submitted by bellchatpavee on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion, consider using more advanced linking words and phrases to make the flow of the essay smoother. For instance, words like "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "Conversely" can help in logically connecting different points.
task achievement
For task achievement, while the essay provides a clear stance and discusses both views effectively, adding more specific examples could strengthen your arguments. Personal anecdotes or real-world examples can make your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a distinct viewpoint, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The author provides a balanced discussion of both views and gives their own opinion, which is crucial for achieving a high task response score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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