Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that
children
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should be taught by their
parents
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about being good citizens of the country,
while
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others think that the ideal place to educate these
children
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is
educational
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in educational
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institutions.
This
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essay will discuss both views and state my opinion.
First,
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it is a major role for
parents
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to educate their
children
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on their proper
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
and social norms. When
parents
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spend adequate time teaching their
children
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how to behave, it increases the likelihood that their
children
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will grow up into valuable and responsible members of society.
In addition
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,
parents
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are often considered
as
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apply
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role models and the closest people to their
children
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;
therefore
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, most of the
children
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's
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
is influenced by their own
parents
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. It can be seen from the facts that many
children
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not just look like their
parents
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but
also
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have similar
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
Therefore
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, it is a crucial role for
parents
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to teach their
children
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how to become a good human being. Educational Institutions,
on the other hand
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, are responsible for educating students during school hours. Since students spend most of their time at school, their
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
is heavily influenced not only by their
teacher
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teachers
show examples
but
also
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by their friends and surroundings.
Children
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usually absorb knowledge and emulate
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
more efficiently from their classmates, as they tend to relate better to others of the same age.
Thus
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, the school environment and friend interactions are essential for shaping
children
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's attitudes and
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
. In my point of view,
children
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should receive guidance from both their
parents
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and educational institutions. Without either of them,
children
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may miss out on some of the critical lessons necessary for becoming a fully developed person
as well as
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a good member of society.
Submitted by bellchatpavee on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion, consider using more advanced linking words and phrases to make the flow of the essay smoother. For instance, words like "Furthermore," "Moreover," or "Conversely" can help in logically connecting different points.
task achievement
For task achievement, while the essay provides a clear stance and discusses both views effectively, adding more specific examples could strengthen your arguments. Personal anecdotes or real-world examples can make your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph addresses a distinct viewpoint, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The author provides a balanced discussion of both views and gives their own opinion, which is crucial for achieving a high task response score.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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