IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their tranining. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people argue that
professionals
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 should stay and
work
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 in their home
country
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while
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 others believe that if they want to
work
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 foreign
country
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 they should be. I strongly believe the second statement and in
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will try to explain why. On the one hand, it is true that there are several difficult situations in working foreign
country
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.
Firstly
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, they might not have an advanced level in foreign language and it might provide a lingual barrier to
professionals
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 and their clients/patients.
For example
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, In Turkey, some doctors have moved to Germany to
work
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 and
Correct article usage
the Germany
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Germany Government
Correct your spelling
German government
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 has requested an intermediate German language.
Thus
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, doctors have suffered from getting
contact
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in contact
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 with their patients even if they know about medical language.
Secondly
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, some people believe their education is better than
another
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in another
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country
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 so they do not
might
Verb problem
apply
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want to the
professionals
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.
Professionals
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 even face racism in foreign countries regardless of their major and education levels.
On the other hand
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,
the
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apply
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professional takes
the
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apply
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really complex exams to have a chance to in
work
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 a foreign
country
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 and they depict the ratio of the tough situations
but
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apply
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even though, they try. There is no reason to not accept non-domestic
professionals
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.
For example
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, if you want to be a lawyer in The United States of America, you have to complete 24 hours of general American Law
L.L.M
Correct your spelling
L.L.M.
 and you have to pass the New York Bar exam which is quite hard. Foreign
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
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 waste their time and spend their money to start a new life. If governments provide good opportunities in their hometown, they do not attempt
such
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 as long and difficult journey. In conclusion, I believe that there are several difficulties in being a professional in foreign countries.
However
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, they should be free to
work
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 in another
country
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 if they wish.

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task response
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Although you have discussed both views and provided your opinion, elaboration on the reasons and adding more diverse examples would provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving logical structuring. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and flows naturally into the next. Transitional phrases are useful to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive. Sometimes, explanations can be more precise and direct, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
Your essay clearly states the subject matter and presents both sides of the argument. This definitely makes it easier for the reader to understand your discussion.
task response
You provide relevant examples, such as the one about doctors in Germany. This helps to illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear start and end to the essay, fulfilling essential structure criteria.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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