IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their tranining. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that
professionals
Use synonyms
 should stay and
work
Use synonyms
 in their home
country
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others believe that if they want to
work
Use synonyms
 foreign
country
Use synonyms
 they should be. I strongly believe the second statement and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will try to explain why. On the one hand, it is true that there are several difficult situations in working foreign
country
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they might not have an advanced level in foreign language and it might provide a lingual barrier to
professionals
Use synonyms
 and their clients/patients.
For example
Linking Words
, In Turkey, some doctors have moved to Germany to
work
Use synonyms
 and
Correct article usage
the Germany
show examples
Germany Government
Correct your spelling
German government
show examples
 has requested an intermediate German language.
Thus
Linking Words
, doctors have suffered from getting
contact
Change preposition
in contact
show examples
 with their patients even if they know about medical language.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some people believe their education is better than
another
Change preposition
in another
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 so they do not
might
Verb problem
apply
show examples
want to the
professionals
Use synonyms
.
Professionals
Use synonyms
 even face racism in foreign countries regardless of their major and education levels.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
professional takes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
really complex exams to have a chance to in
work
Use synonyms
 a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 and they depict the ratio of the tough situations
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
even though, they try. There is no reason to not accept non-domestic
professionals
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if you want to be a lawyer in The United States of America, you have to complete 24 hours of general American Law
L.L.M
Correct your spelling
L.L.M.
 and you have to pass the New York Bar exam which is quite hard. Foreign
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 waste their time and spend their money to start a new life. If governments provide good opportunities in their hometown, they do not attempt
such
Linking Words
 as long and difficult journey. In conclusion, I believe that there are several difficulties in being a professional in foreign countries.
However
Linking Words
, they should be free to
work
Use synonyms
 in another
country
Use synonyms
 if they wish.
Submitted by berivan_yilmazz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Although you have discussed both views and provided your opinion, elaboration on the reasons and adding more diverse examples would provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving logical structuring. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and flows naturally into the next. Transitional phrases are useful to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your ideas to ensure they are comprehensive. Sometimes, explanations can be more precise and direct, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task response
Your essay clearly states the subject matter and presents both sides of the argument. This definitely makes it easier for the reader to understand your discussion.
task response
You provide relevant examples, such as the one about doctors in Germany. This helps to illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear start and end to the essay, fulfilling essential structure criteria.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: