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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the number of students enrolled in four different courses at a university from 2017 to 2022. Summarize the given information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the number of students enrolled in four different courses at a university from 2017 to 2022. Summarize the given information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who studied
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Introduction to Economics, Finances and Accounting, Management and Digital
marketing
Capitalize word
Marketing
show examples
 at a university between 2017 and 2022.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly visible that
many
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 enrolled
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Digital
Correct article usage
the Digital
show examples
 Marketing
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 three
cateogories
Correct your spelling
categories
.
However
Linking Words
, the number of individuals who enjoyed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Introduction and Economics have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased steadily
whereas
Linking Words
 there
saw
Verb problem
was
show examples
 a fluctuation in Management and Financial and Accounting.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Digital Marketing stood at
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 20
students
Use synonyms
 in 2017 but before, reaching a peak of 350,the trend
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rocketed during the given period. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, the number of individuals who
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
 in Introduction and Economics increased steadily from 200 to 300 in 2017 and 2022 respectively. The
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 enrolled
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Management fluctuated from 200 to around 250 over the period. Meanwhile,
students
Use synonyms
 who chose Finances and Accounting dipped from 100 to 50 in 2019 and the trend was followed by a slight increase to 90 in 2022.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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