Today people live longer after retiring from work. What problems does this cause for individuals and society? What can be done?

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Nowadays, in the 21st century, it is readily apparent that the livelihood of a multitude of individuals who retire tends to enhance overwhelmingly.

Due to

this

tendency, it causes different circumstances for individuals and

society

at all, government and

society

members should recognize appropriate actions in order to solve

this

issue. First and foremost, it goes without saying that not everyone has adequate savings to live an appropriate level of life and they are strongly depending on social security and pensions.

Additionally

, in some ways, they are burdens for their relatives,

as well as

children who need to look after them, in some ways it can be the reason for their struggle with parental care.

Furthermore

, elder

society

members face versatile and multifaceted maladies, that significantly change the common way of their daily routine. To cite an example, as a medical student who had interactions with

people

of their senior age I can undoubtedly notice that they face chronic diseases, mobility issues,

as well as

considerable decline in cognitive function.

Besides

, as

people

retire and lose work-related interactions, they may experience a lack of purpose and feelings of loneliness. With regards to the solutions to

this

pattern, it is evident that should be done special programs to encourage the importance of financial literacy programs to help

people

better prepare for retirement. From my point of view, it can be a potentially beneficial proposal to employ them in a part-time job in order to stay conscious and self-aware.

Apart from

this

, healthcare funding should be increased in a way that no one should experience a lack

Change preposition

of.

show examples

To sum up

, after retirement elder

people

may be a source of difficulties for

society

and government.

However

, when all individuals in

society

direct their force to one point they can easily reach appropriate solutions to detrimental consequences.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Mon Sep 02 2024

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task achievement

Try to add more specific examples and evidence to support your points. While personal anecdotes are valuable, additional factual or statistical data can strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Sometimes the transition between points can be abrupt, so using linking words or phrases can help make the essay more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitive language and sentence structure. Varying your vocabulary and sentence types can make your writing more engaging.

coherence cohesion

You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both parts of the question, discussing the problems caused by longer life expectancies post-retirement, as well as potential solutions.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear and easy to follow, making your essay comprehensible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

7.5

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Today people live longer after retiring from work. What problems does this cause for individuals and society? What can be done?

Fully explain your ideas

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Sending spacecraft and astronauts into space is very expensive. It would be better for governments to use the money spent on space exploration to improve the quality of life on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more?

Some people think that children should be homeschooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.