Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits Individuals rather than society. To what extend your career do you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society #career

Nowadays,

pay

Wrong verb form

paying

show examples

full

Correct article usage

the full

show examples

cost for your

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

is common,

this

is because

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

prefer to

offering

Wrong verb form

offer

show examples

the advantage for individuals rather than the community. I

am agree

Change the verb form

agree

show examples

with that,

students

at university should start paying for their studies and take

this

responsibility for many reasons.

This

essay will argue

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

why

students

should pay

full

Correct article usage

the full

show examples

cost for their own

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

. When

students

take

Change preposition

on this

show examples

this responsibilities

Change the determiner

this responsibility

these responsibilities

show examples

, they can learn important skills,

such

save

Wrong verb form

saving

show examples

money and

investment

Replace the word

investing

show examples

. People at

this

age need to face real life. and give them a sort of facilities

Correct pronoun usage

that do

show examples

not help them.

For instance

students

who pay for their studies, are more acceptance to achieve success in their lives after graduation.

Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on Mon Sep 02 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, but it needs further development. Ensure you provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments. Elaborate on how paying for their education can instill responsibility in students and why it might be beneficial to society despite the individual focus.

coherence cohesion

While your introduction is clear, a more detailed conclusion summarizing your main points would improve cohesion. Additionally, make sure each paragraph flows logically to the next. You can use transitional phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and maintain a logical progression.

language use

Your essay has a good structure, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. For example, 'I am agree' should be 'I agree', and 'give them a sort of facilities do not help them' should be 'giving them certain facilities does not help them.' Proofread your work to correct these minor issues and improve readability.

task achievement

The essay clearly states a position on the topic, which is good for task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and body of the essay are well-structured, setting a solid foundation for your argument.

task achievement

The idea that paying for education can teach important life skills is a strong point and relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

115 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits Individuals rather than society. To what extend your career do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Social media badly impact our relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. Some people say that governments should public money on saving these language, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.