the diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town.

the diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram illustrates the process of making
water
Use synonyms
to drink from the collected and handled rainwater in an Australian neighbourhood. In general,
that is
Linking Words
a largely mechanical process including 4 big stages, beginning with capturing the rainwater and ending with delivering drinking
water
Use synonyms
to houses. Having looked at the given chart for more details, first of all, there is the drain that delivers the rainwater flowing down to a huge underground network connecting to each house.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the liquid from all the houses is transported through a long pipe to the
water
Use synonyms
filter where the aqua is filtered
then
Linking Words
it will be transferred to a deeply underground storage.
Next,
Linking Words
a small pipe will be responsible for
water
Use synonyms
transfer to the second tank called the aqua treatment region.
Then
Linking Words
the liquid is mixed with added chemicals to produce the clean liquid.
Finally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
drinking
water
Use synonyms
flows back along a path to each accommodation for the daily routines of residents.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: