Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that
History
is the most important subject, but, other
people
prefer
Science
and
Technology
for many reasons. For me, I think
Math
or
Science
will be more significant in the future. In
this
essay, we will discuss both views
People
who prefer
History
have many reasons to choose
this
subject,
For example
, in their childhood they used to read a lot of books about
History
or they liked stories.
In addition
, they have friends like
History
. ,
also
, they don't like
Science
or
Technology
so they choose
History
, because, they don't like to think about solving a problem or something like that. On the other side.
People
who love or prefer
Science
, mathematics or
Technology
have their own reasons.
For example
, they think
subjects
like
Math
or
Science
the companies will need more than
people
who choose
History
.
Furthermore
, these types of
subjects
like
Math
will build the future in 10 to 20 years. Or they have another reason like, they are very smart in terms of thinking about
Math
or
Science
problems, so, these
subjects
are more fun than reading
History
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because you can go to the
Science
lab and try the things you have studied. In conclusion. In my point of view, I consider
subjects
like
Math
or
Technology
will build the future and it is very important in many companies around the world,
otherwise
, I don't think
History
will be good in terms of applying to jobs and knowledge,
also
, I recognize both majors have their advantages and disadvantages.
Submitted by bcynfn159 on

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task achievement
Please provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, you could mention historical events that illustrate the importance of History or technological advancements that highlight the significance of Science and Technology.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve the overall flow of the essay. Phrases like 'On the other hand' instead of 'On the other side' can create a more natural progression.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your ideas. For example, when stating that some people prefer History because they don't like solving problems, you can link this to the skills that History fosters, such as critical thinking and understanding societal development.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states the essay's purpose, which sets a good stage for the discussion.
introduction conclusion present
You have included a conclusion which nicely summarises your stance. This helps to bring your essay to a logical close.
complete response
You have made a reasonable effort to discuss both perspectives and offer your own opinion on the matter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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